I don't really know how to start this. I've never talked about this before. One time I wrote about my experiences and then ripped up the paper. Well here it goes.
I never masturbated at a young age but this is where my story starts. I developed at a very early age. At 8 years old I hadn't even wore a training bra; I just went straight into an A cup. My body was that of a 13 year old. Back then I hated it but now I love my size D breasts.
I remember around that age I would play dress up with my barbies and I loved putting low cut blouses on them that showed their cleavage. I know it sounds crazy but it turned me on even though back then I didn't know that is what I was experiencing.
Flash Forward to my freshman year of High School. I was now 14 and a C cup and still hated it. This is the year when I found out how it felt to be horny and knew what it was. I felt this way regularly for my first two years of high school.
One night at 15 I was sleeping over my uncles and aunts house. My 12 year old cousin and my aunt's 13 year old brother and neice were also sleeping over. All us adolescents were virgins and were speaking about sex. My aunt told us that when we were feeling horny we should masturbate and that there was nothing wrong with this. I couldn't believe this woman was telling us to do this! I had always thought masturbation was nasty, especially since my parents were Christians.
One night the next week when I was feeling frisky I tried on some of my mom's lingerie and decided to give masterbation a try. For some reason it did not feel good to me at all. It really hurt me and I told myself I would never do it again, but little did I know.
A month later I moved out of state. I found a book with some pretty racy sex scenes and decided to give masturbation another try. It didn't hurt this time but it didn't feel so hot to me. That whole week I kept on trying but at the end of the week I felt like I had done something nasty. Again I vowed never to do it again.
Two and a half years and another state later I graduated at 17. Through-out the years I had been horny many times but never did anything. One night I couldn't take it anymore. I ripped off my bra and panties and stuck my middle finger in. Nothing happened so I stuck two fingers in. That did the trick. I felt something I had never felt before and it felt so good. I started doing it harder and faster and I had my first orgasm. It was great! I was breathing so hard and my heart was pounding. But again for some strange reason I felt I had done something sick. But now that I knew what an orgasm felt like I couldn't stop.
After that I started looking at porn every night. I would look at the pics every night while everyone was asleep and then masturbate. I especially loved pics with women on top and printed a few to use for some inspiration. All this time I had been using my fingers but I was getting bored with it. I started looking around the house for objects resembling a penis. I finally found a blush brush about six inches long. It was perfect. After that I couldn't go back to my fingers.
All that time I would play with my nipples or wet them from the saliva on my fingers. But I got bored with that too. One day I started massaging my breasts with lotion. It felt really good and watching myself do it turned me on even more. That night the orgasm was especially good. Two nights later the lotion was finished. I tried other lotions but found that only certain ones worked on me. My fave is cocoa butter; just the smell turns me on. Now the only lotion I buy has cocoa butter in it. Sometimes I would use my suntan oil and that was the best, better than the cocoa butter. I'll have to wait for that till summer comes again though. Lucky for me my sister is a lotion freak and always has an extra large bottle. I always use it.
Up until about a month ago I have always done this lying down. I finally decided to try it "on top" though. I bunched up my blanket and pillows, got on top, and rocked back and forth on my "penis". I loved it. So far it was my best experience. A week later I had my best experience yet. All those times I had orgasmed from the g-spot. I wanted to find out where my clitoris was. I thought an orgasm from the g-spot was great, well the clit was so much better.
Well now that I have told you about my experiences, I'll tell you my usual routine. After everyone in my family has gone to bed, I go to the computer and look at porn or masturbation sites. After I am turned on enough I go to my bedroom and strip. Then I write in my journal and put on some music. Then I get everything ready. I start to massage my breasts with lotion putting on more and more until I can't take it anymore. Then I slide the brush in and out or up and down staring out slow at first. When it starts to feel good I go a little faster every couple of minutes. All the while I am playing with my nipples. When I feel the orgasm approaching I go faster, faster, faster, faster and faster till I come, then lay there in bliss.
I have now finally come to terms with the fact that what I do is totally normal. But I am still a little embarassed that someone may catch me. Though sometimes I fantasize that I have been caught but the person is turned on and watches. I would love for a willing person to watch me. I am also embarassed to go into a sex shop, but I can't wait till the day when I finally walk in and buy all sorts of toys. I can't wait for all the new experiences I will have.
I know I have not mentioned any guys. No I'm not a lesbian, all though I have had lesbian fantasies but I haven't found any women to fulfill them with. For some reason I ant a certain type. I have had boyfriends but am not very lucky in love. I also feel I am not ready to have sex yet. There are so many things in this world that come with sex like unwanted pregnancies and std's. And I am not ready for that. But I can't wait for the day when I am finally ready. I know it will be the best experience of all. At least I can be smug that my best friend who has had sex many times has not yet had an orgasm and I who am a virgin has had many orgasms.
Well now it's time for my nightly activity. HAPPY MASTURBATING!!!! -Nikki