Sometimes fantasy is better than reality. The reality is that I am three months from ending a two year relationship and am in no way shape or form ready to launch into something else. This is a story about the first woman to excite me after my ex.
It started while waiting for the bus. I asked a woman at the bus stop if my bus came yet. She flashed a beautiful smile at me and confirmed that it had not. She had dark features and her hair and neck were hidden under a colorful wrap. I assumed that she was middle eastern. We introduced ourselves and I found that I could not pronounce her name. Shortly after that the bus came. I got on and she didn't. A few days later I was rushing to get home and made a bus transfer and when I got on the second bus, there she was! This time she was extraordinarily friendly. After I asked her to spell her name she called me the wrong name and I felt better. She moved to sit closer to me and we wound up talking about all kinds of personal things. She kept leaning towards me across the aisle and smiling. I was unsure to what level she would want to associate with a westerner, and I was feeling confused and excited by her partially hidden beauty contrasted with her warmth and openness with me.
My stop came seemingly in an instant even though it was almost 15 minutes later. I failed to ask for her number. For the next few days she was all I could think about. I am sure some of that was because I had just ended an unhealthy relationship and I missed the attention and intimacy and was kind of low. It is not every day that an exotic, mysterious woman pays me that much attention either. There are many middle eastern women who attend the school that I do in the eastern United States, and not one of them has ever even batted an eyelash at me. The end result was that the frustration and excitement built for a couple of days and it led to the best session of masturbation I have had since the break up. I teased my nipples and thought about unwrapping her forbidden body and I explored myself and every orifice imagining it was her with me, both of us doing so to one another. I imagined entering her every hole and I got particularly excited thinking about what body hair she might have. She had told me which middle eastern country she was from, so I knew that all of these things would be taboo in her culture because I am a westerner and a non-Muslim and not her husband. That made it more exciting in fantasy. I shot all over my foot and leg. I love to explore myself anally and I was in a crouch when I came.
A day later I finally realized that I was not ready for anything new and that this fantasy simply meant that I was starting to get over my ex and that it was better to have that than to actually do something right now because I'm too vulnerable. I decided that if I saw her again, which I haven't so far, I would simply be friendly and not try to take it further. I remember her name now. She'll probably forget mine again and that will be that. And I will still have the freedom and control that I fought hard to get back. It was nice to notice and be noticed though, and to fantasize.
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