My Story

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My name is Elizabeth and I would like to share my unique background and opinions on masturbation. I was born in South Korea and moved to Hawaii when I was eight years old after my father died. My mother married another Korean national two years later, five years later he was transferred to Colorado, we all received US citizenship then. I have an older sister, and two younger brothers. Korean tradition places the sons well above their sisters and that was how I was raised. I tell you this to just let you know my background.

I was raised in a stoic, reserved family, but there was an undercurrent of sexuality throughout all my upbringing that made it seem very natural until living in Hawaii and the US in my later years.

I can definitely remember when I experienced my first, self-induced orgasm, but that was not the first time I had an orgasm. The oldest sister assumes the responsibilty of helping her mother with the household and Ann was basically responsibly for me, especially in Korea. She is three years older than I and we did almost everything together. Believe it or not, I can distinctly remember my mother washing me at age four and paying particular attention to my pussy and bottom while Ann watched and also touched herself in those places. I would go limp, allowing her to bathe me without a fuss. By age six, Ann's fondling of my genitals took the place of my mother, and Ann encouraged me to also touch her. Right before we finished bathing, Ann would put soap on her fingers and rub very quickly, scrunch up her face and hold her breath. Then she relaxed and smiled at me and we got out and dried off. She kept telling me I could do that also, so I would mimic her and we would just end up laughing.

I can also remember times I was hungry or just grumpy and tired and Ann would take me to the porch, set me on her lap and slide her hand up my skirt and fondle my genitals through the leg of my panties. I would only squirm for a short time before falling into a mesmerized, relaxed state, enjoying the warmth and tingly feeling between my legs. It was one of those times, at age eight, that the tingling became more intense. Ann must have noticed because she quickened her fingers and soon my little legs stuck straight out and a beautiful, wonderful feeling danced up and down my thighs and pussy. It was incredible and Ann told me that's what it feels like.

I couldn't get enough and was constantly bothering her, especially in the bathtub and at night before we went to sleep. Sleep came very quickly and peacefully after we would play. I tried several times to make Ann climax, but was unsuccesful. Finally, Ann told me to play with myself and I tried, but still couldn't achieve the same intense climax as she could. But it finally came when I was sitting on the back porch one morning. It just took practice and discovering what feels best for you. Shortly afterwards, I also made Ann climax. I guess it was something you had to appreciate yourself in order to give another woman pleasure. After that, most of my orgasms were self-induced. Some in front of Ann and others when I would be on the porch or in the greenhouse watering the vegetables by myself. The greenhouse became my haven for masturbation during the next two years.

Our toilets in Korea are much different than the US. The women squat and straddle the toilet and believe me, it does take some skill and balance. When we squat, the heels of our feet are touching the ground and our bottoms rest on our calves. Most US people squat only on their toes and then cannot hold a steady position for very long. I noticed Ann would pee and then rub herself in that squatting position. She let me stand in front of her and watch. In that position, her pussy bulged out and her lips spead apart exposing all the sensitive areas. She was very quick about it, but her quiet little grunts told me it was enjoyable. It wasn't long before I had mastered that position and was busy many times straddling the toilet and seeing how quickly I could climax. Ann could always climax faster (and still can). Even in public restrooms, women take a little longer than usual and sometimes masturbate which I discovered one day in a restaurant when I accidently walked in on a woman and found her rocking with little grunts. She wiped herself, pulled up her panties, gave me a smile and left. But I was aroused and soon came to very nice orgasm myself. It was all pretty natural. I had seen it many times in Korea and accassionally in Hawaii, but so far, never in the US.

You're probably wondering about my father and brothers. That is where the secretive undercurrent of sexuality is. The males were not told or shown any of these activities and I was sternly warned not to talk about it and I never did. I enjoyed myself and the company of my sister immensely. Besides, fathers rarely participated in domestic duties and did not like to be bothered by their daughters, but spent most of their time with the sons.

James is three years younger than I, and David six years, so we are all three years apart in age. I was able to watch my mother and sister raise them and soon participated myself, as expected. My mother breast fed and I would often see her hand in my brother's pants while he was sucking. She did this with both of them and then Ann also would rock them on the porch and fondle them, just like she did me. Of course I was very curious, just like any girl, and would watch my mother and Ann bathe and change them, again often fondling them when they became fussy. Their little penises would become stiff as lotion was gently rubbed on then, and just like me, they became quiet and content. I found this fascinating and tried it one time when David was a baby. My mother and Ann watched and smiled as I enjoyed the feel of his soft-skinned penis, but then he peed on my hand and I jerked my hand out with little squeal. We all started laughing and I realize it wasn't that bad.

As I grew older, touching their little cocks became arousing for me and I did it so often that my mother had to gently scold me and tell me it was only for when they became hungry or fussy. When I learned to masturbate, I would have one hand fondling them and my other rubbing myself. Usually I held off my orgasm until I could go somehwere private and enjoy it more.

The move to Hawaii was difficult and I was thrust into the public school system with Ann. We stuck by each other for the first two years, but gradually started making friends. We never shared any of our masturbation experiences with anyone at the stern request of our mother, but occasionally I would mention 'touching yourself' to my closest friends but always received the same response...disgust. I know now that they were just beginning to discover themselves and were not in the same stage of self-assurance I was in. An adolescent girl in the US seems to worry about everything and is told that masturbation is OK only occasionally, but I believe there is an undercurrent of non-acceptance. So, I kept my masturbating in my own home or in a private place most of junior high and high school.

I also believe there is a keen fascination with Oriental women by US boys and men, so enjoyed the attention, watched the bulges grow in their pants, and then rushed off to the restroom to pleasure myself. I don't like peeing while sitting down and it's more difficult to masturbate as well. I just squatted on the toilet rim, peed, and orgasmed all in about three minutes. They weren't intense, but very pleasant, especially during a tense day. I was a virgin until I married (please don't laugh) because I was raised that is was shameful for your husband to discover you otherwise.

My mother re-married another Korean man, just as traditional as my father, but he was more involved with the family, especially vacations and when it came to pleasing my younger bothers. When James turned ten, my mother would not let me fondle him and the same went with David. So when I was sixteen and we had just moved to Colorado and I became very frustrated and masturbated very often, up to six times a day. I thought that was excessive back then, but even now, at age fifty-two, I can experience a marathon day with a dozen or more.

Our house in Colorado had three lofts that looked down into the family room and two bedrooms. The lofts were connected and I would be able to see almost everything in the house by going from loft to loft. It was at the tender age of fifteen that discovered the enticing practice of voyeurism. I am still a voyeur to this day. It is very addicting and my current house has several areas that I use for house guests and relatives.

A traditional Korean religiously respects another's privacy and it is assumed that no one will invade it, especially in your own home and family. Politeness and correctness within the family assures that everyone has their privacy. So no one expected I would watch other members of my family, houseguests, and relatives in their most private moments.

The first time was completely by accident when I was in the large hallway that connects all the lofts. We had a small library and two desks where we could to our homework or read and I was often there reading and masturbating. I heard moans from my mother's bedroom and discovered my stepfather on top of her. Her legs were widely spread, bent back against her chest. He was between them moving slowly and then more quickly. I knew they were having sex, but had never seen anything like it. I was fascinated, aroused, flushed, and quickly tiptoed back to the library where I tried to suppress the erotic and sensual feeling raging inside me. I was shocked at how my body responded to seeing my mother in the midst of sex and then ashamed I had watched. I tried reading but soon was frantically rubbing my clitoris to a crashing orgasm, and then another. I fell asleep in exhaustion and awoke when David came in, only to pleasure myself one more time before falling asleep that night.

The urge to return to that bedroom was overwhelming and about a month later I watched as my mother straddled him and rhythmically rocked against him and climaxed. Again I went back to the hallway and masturbated quickly with the vision of lovemaking imprinted in my adolescent brain. This went on for several months, but I expanded into the family room where my brothers were making discoveries about their own bodies. I missed fondling them, but they seemed to take it in stride, leaving me behind. The other loft overlooked our bedroom so I also watched Ann's private moments and learned more techniques and positions to masturbate.

Her favorite, at least the position she most often took when she thought she was alone, was to squat down fully clothed and straddle the closet door and then vigorously rub against it, holding on to the door nobs, until she climaxed. I watched her many times climax two or three times in a row. She would also use KY jelly on the edge of the door, then take her panties off. That is the way I like to do it as well. Another way I thought was interesting was stuffing a little pillow between her legs and slowly rock on her side, then her stomach, back to her side. She also rubbed herself all over and squeezed her breasts when she was alone.

After watching my mother, I generally went back to the library and masturbated. Sometimes I would bring myself off while watching them, but it was difficult to stifle myself and when I got wet, my pussy would make those wet, crackling noises. One time, I stayed a little longer after they were finished, just gently feeling myself. My stepfather rolled over and went to sleep, but my mother slipped out of bed, squatted next to it and masturbated! That really surprised me. Sometimes she would take her time, lasting 10-15 minutes and other times it would be over in just a few seconds. I though that was strange until Ann caught me.

Ann was furious and pulled my hair while hissing vulgarities in my face. Naturally, I started to cry, feeling ashamed and humiliated. We both calmed down and went into our bedroom. My genitals were sopping wet and throbbing, the wetness seeping through my panties and very obvious to Ann who just stuck out her tongue and turned away. I quickly slipped my hand inside my panties and stroked my clit to a quick climax. It wasn't very satisfying, but it was what I needed at the time. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Ann's hand between her legs working on herself as well. Then she almost unnoticeably stiffened as her orgasm washed over her. I knew it was exciting for both of us.

About a week later, after watching mother again slip out of bed and masturbate, I went downstairs to the kitchen and found Ann. It was a delicate subject, but I felt I needed to know why our mother chose to masturbate instead of climax with her husband. At first Ann told me to mind my own business or she would tell on me, but I knew that would never happen. It would have shamed both Ann and our mother. Ann surprised me with her thoughts.

She and mother had already been talking about 'pleasing a man' and how important it is to give him pleasure, even at the expense of your own. Yes, that is Korean culture and tradition at its worst. I married a native of Colorado Springs, and he would have nothing to do with that philosophy at all. The Korean woman is to do everything to bring her mate pleasure and satisfaction and never climax before or during his time. They think it would interfere with his satisfaction and be a distraction. So the wife pleasures herself afterwards, in her own privacy.

Mother was showing Ann various techniques to achieve an intense and satisfying orgasm. Little pinches, pulls, and stroking. Inserting objects of different texture and size. Ann said she was experimenting with them and found that by inserting a small, smooth piece of plastic into her vagina, and then squatting against the edge of a door, she could experience a really intense orgasm. I found myself again being instructed by my older sister and our sibling bond became stronger over the next years. I was devastated when Ann went to college in Austin, Texas and was at the mercy of my two, younger brothers who spied on me constantly. Males have the run of the house and I was never allowed to lock any doors. My masturbation was confined to our tiny greenhouse apart from the house or the basement where the laundry was done.

My favorite position is squatting, no matter what I insert or how I rub. That position makes my sensitive lips and clitoris bulge out and engorge faster. While doing the laundry, I would think about sensual things...my brother's cocks...Ann's touch and love...my mother pleasuring her husband and masturbating. Then I would quickly squat down, pull my panties aside and be able to climax in just a couple of minutes. I could do the same thing in the greenhouse using the various garden tool handles against my pussy. I could easily climax so hard that I would fall over on the floor seeing stars and black spots.

Ann liked college very much and I entered the same school during her fourth year there. I was extremely busy with sports and grades and my masturbation dwindles to maybe three times a week. I had many dates and it was usually after those dates that I would go into the stalls and masturbate, squatting on the rim, then peeing profusely afterwards.

I met my husband 6 months after graduating with a degree in laboratory technology and we married 6 months later. The first time we had intercourse was on our honeymoon in the Rockies and it was definitely uncomfortable. I found myself waiting until he fell asleep (literally a few minutes...ha!) and squatting by the bed and masturbating to a crashing climax, falling to the floor, ringing in my ears. I thought I was doomed to follow in the Korean tradition.

The next afternoon, slow, patient, sensual lovemaking. I was on my back, knees pulled up, him between my legs thrusting and moaning. My gosh what an orgasm! I will admit, and guys don't become upset, but I have never climaxed with my husband as hard and intensely as when I masturbate. It just hasn't happened in 30 years. There's a unique and very pleasurable feeling with his cock inside, but yes, I would rather feel his orgasm, squirting inside me, so I guess I become distracted. Our sex life is healthy and active 5-7 times a week. I consider that good by USA standards because I have read statistics of 5-7 times a month when in your fifties!

Masturbation is still at least once a day and sometimes up to six. I use a 'personal lubricant' now which drastically improves the sensuality of the rubbing and insertion of objects. Squatting down against the edge of a door with a small Avon perfume bottle in my vagina rocks me to the floor every time. Watching myself in the bedroom mirror next to the bed is another exciting position. Over the last five years, I have become proficient with the internet, so I squat on the PC chair, pull my panties aside and surf the net for most anything erotic. I was surprised how much pornography excites me and now have many mpegs and avis at my disposal for my private times.

A water massager brings me to a climax in almost seconds and I can have two or three in a row. I would rather stand, leaning against the shower wall with my feet braced against the opposite side and let them come. I do have a large, body massager (vibrator) as well, but if I take too long, it seems I get almost numb and then can't climax for a couple of hours. Too frustrating at times so I rarely use the vibrator unless I'm in a real hurry for a quick one.

Ann and I share all of our experiences and occasionally will masturbate together, but we still relish our private times. It is amazing that we both have pretty much the same likes and positions and have been very pleased with our sex life. I truly believe masturbation has added a needed part of my life. I can't speak for all women, but the one's I am close to seem to have healthy, frequent masturbation times.

Those are just a few of my experiences and thoughts. I will add more as I have time.

Enjoy yourself...often!

Kaiko

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