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My masturbatory history

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by Paul I thought that perhaps it would be interesting for the audience of this really great site to hear about experiences of a man born in quite a different culture and environment than USA. I was born in Russia (then Soviet Union), and immigrated to the States 8 years ago. I grew up in a Jewish family, but they were (as most Jews in Russia then) un-practicing Jews, so that neither me nor my elder brother were circumcised - thank God for this! I think that masturbating is so much better when you are not cut. My foreskin covers the head completely, and when I jack off I just rub the foreskin against the head of my dick, and the sensation is great. When I fuck, I retract the foreskin. I opened masturbation on my own at the age of 10, before I reached puberty. Funny, but I can't remember how I knew that I had to rub my penis, but somehow it happened, I loved the feeling, and have been doing it ever since. Soon I learned that it is not something that belongs to me alone, and that other boys do it too, and I learned the word for it (in Russian, of course). I remember couple of times us 5 or 6 boys from the area where we lived hiding behind some hangar in our big yard and jacking off together. I had a best friend Vlad who was a year younger than me. Several times when we were alone in his home, we lay next to each other on a couch on our backs (fully dressed), brought our hands into each other's pants and masturbated each other. It was before any of us could come, but I know that I had orgasms even then. The summer when I was 12 was the onset of puberty for me. It seemed to happen very fast, because by the end of the summer I had a dense bush of pubic hair where all was smooth in the spring. I also started to come when jacking off. Vlad went away for summer vacations with his parents, and was absent all summer. When he returned he came to me. We hang around, played some games, and then we noticed that we both have tents in our pants. So we laughed and joked about it, and then I said: "Or, by the way, I already have hair down there". He did not believe me, so I brought my pants down and showed him. He was dumb-struck, and soon I realised that it was not only the hair that impressed him so much, but the overall look of my dick. I did not notice how it grew in girth because I saw it every day, but now the difference was striking - his was hard but thin as a pencil (as mine had been just three months ago), and mine was hard too, but it was almost twice thicker than Vlad's (though not much longer). For some reason we never jacked off each other any more after that, though sometimes he and our third friend Yuri (also a year younger than me) asked me to show them my dick - to see one with hair,as they put it. I readily obliged. When now I read stories about American boys' coming-of-age, I see that they never had any problems with visual materials for masturbation - always there was a hidden stack of Dad's or older brother's "Playboys" or something like that (even in the puritanical 50s). Quite a different story in Russia: there was no porn available at all, the less so for us, boys from a provincial town far from Moscow. So we had to do with our own fantasies, the stories we heard from older boys and told each other, and some spare sexual passages we could find in books. Well, Soviet writers did not write about sex, period. Translations from modern Western authors were usually edited so that sex was almost left out. So it was the classics that were for some reason left intact. Our favorites were "Arabian Nights" where some of the fairy tales had naive but graphic description of sex, and Bocaccio's "Decameron". The best of all was an ancient Greek author Apuleius with his fantastic novel "The Golden Ass". It had several very vivid sexual scenes, one of them almost two pages long. Since my aunt was a librarian, I was allowed to roam in the bookshelves, and once I found an old edition of "The Golden Ass" with color illustrations. It was something! On one of them there was a beautiful naked young woman with luscious curves and pink nipples, on another - a handsome naked young man in full frontal, with his dick (not hard) and balls very visible, in an aureol of golden pubic hair. Unfortunately, I could not check it out. Books were as unavailable (for sale) in our country back then as were almost all other items - at least good books. So we read these passages in some lucky boys' books whose parents had them at home, and later jacked off to the memory of the things read. We lived 6 of us in a two-room (not two bedroom!) apartment: my parents, me and my brother, my maternal grandmother and my aunt, an old maid. We were considered to be lucky, because there was only our family in the apartment. Many apartments had two and more families living in them, sharing one kitchen and one bathroom. So privacy was something we could only dream about. I could only jack off in the bathroom, or in my bed at night under the blankets or sheets. At this age I developed a curious masturbation technique: lying on my back in bed, I pulled down my undewear under the sheets, and started a circular motion with my right hand around my dick. The idea was not to touch it during these motions as long as I could, at the same time narrowing the radius of my hand's rotation with every circle. Of course, my dick was hard from the start (whose is not at 13!), and with the area so restricted I could not help brushing with my hand sometimes the dick, sometimes the balls, sometimes the pubes, but I tried to long like this more, while my dick was all twitching for attention. At last I could not stand it any more, gripped my dick with both hands and jacked it till I came (which did not take long after such a prelude). I had my first wet dream at 13, sprouted armpit hair at 14, and grew my first chest hair at 18. I love body hair on men, it turns me on (I do have a homosexual side in me, though I always lived as straight and am happily married to my wife of 33 years). I can't understand men shaving off their hair anywhere but on their face. It seems to me that a shaved grown-up man's dick looks somehow vulnerable and unprotected. Recently I started trimming my pubes with scissors because when they grow too long it obstructs the view of my dick (it is 2 to 2.5 inches flaccid), and besides the long hair meddles when I masturbate or when my wife sucks my dick. Well, I was a short skinny Jewish boy in eye-galsses with a small dick (5 inches), so I became very shy and unsure of myself. I thought that my chances to be liked by a girl were zero (to say nothing of getting sexual with one), so I behaved accordingly. I did not have a girlfriend through high school or university - I mean girlfriend in modern understanding, because I had many girls with whom I was friends, but without anything sexual going on. I think that girls of my age did not arouse me sexually. In my masturbation fantasies I saw a woman older than me (say about 30), very experienced, who would suddenly appear from the thin air, take me in her arms and teach me all a man should know. Now I think that if I were more enterpising at that age, I could have found a woman like that and get rid of my virginity, but I was too shy, and the dreams stayed just dreams. Besides, being a virgin with small dick I was not sure about my potency, and was afraid that at the crucial moment I'll fail to get it up. So in this way I stayed a virgin all through my university years, and beyond till I was almost 25. Of course I masturbated regularly all these years. Then I married a girl whom I once met during my vacation at the seaside. She lived in another city, and we wrote each other letters. After some time I proposed to her in a letter. She accepted. Then she came to my city to be married several days before the wedding, and all that time we only kissed each other and nothing more. She was 2 years younger than me, and we liked each other a lot. Well, can you imagine - she turned out to be a virgin too, at 23! Or boy, did we have a tough time after the wedding! On our first night I could not get hard - I was just fucking nervous, and she, being quite unexperienced, had no idea about stimulating a man to erection, she just lay there and waited for me to do something. I guess she was very nervous too. Of course I could not even think of masturbating myself in her presence to get hard, so it was a complete failure. She was very kind, and said that it did not matter, and she would love me anyway even if I never have sex with her. It was kind, but not very reassuring! Well, the second and third night were the same (I forgot to say that we lived in one 3-room apartment with my parents and my divorced brother, and our privacy was relative). Then we went to a kind of resort out of town for 2 weeks, and there we had a room to ourselves. There I stubbornly renewed my attempts, and on the third night there I got a hard-on at last, and fucked my wife for the first time. It was great! Not the orgasm perhaps, because I had had stronger orgasms before from masturbation, but the feeling of a great thing achieved at last. Well, for the rest of our stay there we fucked every night and every morning, being always late for breakfast, and we loved it more and more. Once we went to stroll in a forest nearby, and suddenly felt that it would be good to fuck there, so we lay in the grass and just fucked. Happily, my wife appeared to be quite orgasmic, she loved to do this and came almost every time we had sex. My small dick did not bother her at all, besides it was the first one she saw anyway, and she did not know what size it should (or rather could) be. As I said before, sex with my wife was good, orgasms for me started to be more intense, and for some time I even stopped masturbating. Later on I started again, but not as often as before the marriage - just once in a while. Usually after an especially satisfying sex the night before, in the morning when in the bathroom I remembered last night's sex and jacked off replaying it in mind - something like a bonus. My wife never knew about that, and I never admitted to her. Since we did not have any prior experience, we had to open everything on our own, and I guess it took longer than for other more advanced couples. I soon learned about her erogenous zones (mostly breasts and ears). She was somewhat slower. For the first year or so she never touched my dick with her hands, and I was still too shy to ask her do that. At last one night I just took her hand and placed it on my dick (already hard). She understood at once, and since then she always felt me up in bed. As for giving me hand-jobs - I could not make myself ask her that or show to her how for many more years. I think that back then I was ashamed to be masturbating, thinking that it is for teenagers only, not for adult men. Well, now I know better! As I said, I am 58 now, and I jack off regularly, 5-6 times a week - usually in the morning after my wife leaves for work and before I leave for work myself. Unfortunalely, in later years I started having problems with erection when having sex with my wife (I do not have sex with other women, and never had). So I take Viagra for that, but still sex has become much less frequent. On the other hand, I do have night and morning erections very often. When I masturbate I don't need any Viagra, I am hard and always come. So I resumed my regular masturbation and enjoy it greatly.

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