This is my true 'coming-out' story--as a masturbator and as a gay man.
Message: My eighth grade year was the beginning of my sexual awakening. Already more sexually developed than most of my peers, I constantly fantasized about masturbating with other guys. Although the opportunity did not present itself for two more years, I already knew the boy who would be my partner in experimentation....
My best friend in those days was a guy we'll call Derek. We were both well developed sexually for eighth graders, both pretty shy but intelligent. I met him in PE, which was actually the only class we had together. Neither of us were athletic (but in naturally decent shape), and ditched every activity we could, preferring to sit on the sidelines and talk or play chess. We developed an excellent friendship this way, and eventually we started to have sleep-overs so we could spend more time together. He was the first person I knew who had a personal computer (and this was in the very early 80's) and I was very impressed with his programming abilities with what passed for graphics in those days. I was more the literary nerd, and was in awe of his prowess with mathematics and computers. I introduced him to books which should have been far above our grade levels. It was a very unusual junior high friendship, in that I believe we were actually in love with eachother--although neither one of us would have admitted it then.
Throughout our gym class friendship, we never discussed sex or saw eachoter completely naked--although I always would sneak a guilty peek at his briefs-covered crotch while changing. I was impressed by his size and by the pubic hair which sometimes protruded from the sides of his jockeys.
After eighth grade, we both went to different high schools but continued to see eachother via weekend sleepovers. We talked almost every day for an hour on the phone. Increasingly, I pined for him and made him the sole focus of my masturbatory fantasies. As a Freshman, with the help of an upperclassman I met when I joined the debate team (who is now a well-known gay comedian and thespian) I began to come to terms with the fact that I was gay. I very much wanted to discuss this with Derek, but was terrified by the prospect of losing such a deep and satisfying friendship. Even though I suspected Derek may be gay, I wasn't yet ready to take the chance. By my Sophomore year, I had finally reached the conclusion that if I didn't come out to him, I wasn't being totally honest in our friendship. I didn't want to do that to my beloved best friend.
One Winter Saturday, I was invited to spend the night at Derek's house. This, I decided, would be the day! I would come out to him, and ask him if he would like to masturbate with me. Through most of the afternoon and evening at his house I felt like throwing up, I was so nervous. Finally, after he finished showing me something on his computer, I told him that I really had to talk to him about something important. He turned around in his chair and said 'OK, what is it'? I looked at him for at least 30 seconds, then I said 'Derek, I'm gay'. There was at least a minute of silence. My heart pounding, stomach nauseous, I thought sure I would be thrown out of his room, my parents called to pick me up and told of my shameful admission. But then he said, very quietly, 'It's OK. I am too'. I have never before or since felt such relief.
Late into the night, we sat on the floor facing eachother ('Indian-Style', we would have said in those pre-Politically Correct days)talking about our sexual awakenings, fears, apprehensions, attractions. Finally, I asked him how often he masturbated. He said 'every night, and usually after school, too'. 'Me too', I replied. Totally disarmed by the conversation, I asked 'Derek, would you like to masturbate with me tonight'? Without saying a word, he got up, locked his door, and began to take off his clothes. I did the same. I remember vividly that once our pants came off, we both had throbbing erections, our underwear completely soaked in pre-cum. Once naked we embraced, pressing our erections tightly against eachother. I remember I said 'You don't waste any time, do you?', meaning how quick he was to get naked.
We proceeded to his bed, where we kissed and rubbed against one another for what seemed like hours. We then proceeded to mutual masturbation and experimentation with oral sex. We discovered that we both used the somewhat unusual method of rubbing our penises against our bellies with an open palm. That made it easy for us to masturbate eachother in a way which was truly pleasing. Finally, lubricated by our copious pre-cum and a little spit, I got on top of him, grabbed our cocks together in my right hand and kissing him deeply, masturbated both of us to orgasm. The amount of cum produced was truly prodigious. Laughing, we rubbed our semen into eachother and tasted it. Finally, we fell asleep in eachother's arms, only to repeat the experience in the morning.
For the next year, we had sex regularly but often masturbated in front of one another and used one person's cum as a lube to masturbate the other. Our relationship deepened, and we spent hours on the phone during the week--even having phone sex. However, Derek soon moved away. I was devistated, and I think he was too. We kept in touch by letter for a while, but eventually drifed apart. I have not seen him since, and many relationships later I still miss him and our High School sexual experiences remain a large part of my masturbation fantasy library. I'll never forget Derek, or our wonderful sexual and emotional experiences together.