When reflecting on this relationship... I almost wish I was bitter because it might be easier that way... But I'm not bitter. We had many great experiences that I wouldn't trade for the world. She wrote this experience for me back in 2003.
N. and I had met while we were both in post-secondary school. We were both in our early 20's and were experiencing life out on our own for the first time. She came from a somewhat troubled past without a father figure in her life for the first number of years until high school began for her. I was the product of a middle class home with a religious upbringing.
Meeting her for the first time was somewhat by chance but the chemistry and connection was there immediately. I'd never met someone like her... she was interested in me. I was in my early 20's, insecure and self involved. The way she looked at me spoke volumes and I couldn't resist her. We wound up in bed that first night. I was so 'green' that I couldn't perform-partly because I was afraid. Partly because I had never in my life been in a situation like this with someone so in tune with their desire and body. But she did perform.
I was amazed as I was allowed inside the secret world of what girls/women did behind locked bedroom doors. I drank it all in... We must of spent hours laying beside one another as she showed me how she pleasured herself and let me help her. The look on her face as she came was a first time experience for me. I wasn't a virgin ... but I can't say that I experienced that sort of animal response before from any of my other girlfriends. N. was tapping into something primal. She was tapping into something that I had only seen in myself in the bathroom mirror while I furiously pumped myself to cum. Here she was being aggressive and uninhibited. The way her hands moved was just a flurry and a blur. I was intoxicated. Her climax and release were just awesome to watch and still etched in my mind today. Her entire body clenched and bucked... with her thigh muscles pushing her from the bed. Her face and chest flush. The groan that came from her throat sent a shiver down my back.
The next day, I am proud to say, I was back for more. This time I shared much more. I showed her what I did and how I liked to do it. I felt liberated because I had found someone who was a physical and emotional companion. I truly saw myself in her the night before. The pleasure I took the night before, was what I wanted to return to her. I was hard before I even reached her front porch and took her by the hand to her bedroom that afternoon and stripped before her. The look in her eyes was one of shocked relief... after the show she put on the night before... without my reciprocation... she was more than pleased to see I could muster up the manhood to expose myself. Naked and hard I beat it for her... locked with her eyes. She just watched at first ... then slowly stripped, until we were just kneeling before one another getting ourselves off and feeling one another with our free hands.
That was that. There are so many more experiences that we shared. I was blessed to be allowed inside with her. She shared her masturbation experiences with me for the next ten years. Toys and objects and places and fantasies.
I'll share more soon.