This is long, but I hope not too long. If any readers comment on the writing to the webmaster, I hope you will pass some of these comments along. Please let me know if for some reason this won't be posted.
I've been reading this web site for a while now and have gotten pretty horny reading some of the stories here, especially an old post by 'Hippie Freak' and the recent '18 Year Biography.' Both really rang true and I could relate to them even as a guy. I'd like to post my story now and I hope some others will find it enjoyable and maybe exciting.
My first sexual experiences must have started before I can remember. I don't ever remember touching myself as a little kid, in fact I thought of my genitals as 'dirty' or off-limits, so my parents must have got this into my head at a very early age. My first sexual memories are of my older cousin, who is four years older than I am. We grew up together like brother and sister, changing clothes in the same room, taking baths together, and sometimes sleeping in the same bed. Naturally, I had a huge crush on her. I remember being about five and looking at her body when we were nude together, especially looking between her legs. It was more curiosity about the differences between boys and girls than anything really sexual, and I don't ever remember being excited or getting an erection when we were together like this.
I do remember getting erections in school, like when I had to get up and talk in front of the class, or when hearing a dirty joke in a group, but never at a time and place where I could undress and explore what was happening to my bod. This changed one day when I was ten.
Coming home from school on the bus one day I had the feeling like I really needed to pee - and soon. I don't know if it was from the pressure on my bladder, or the bumpy ride, or both, but I felt my penis getting hard. I should mention that at this age (ten) I had never heard words like erection, I didn't even know the correct word 'penis,' I just knew that I sometimes had these feelings 'down there.' Anyway, when I finally got home I went straight to the bathroom and dropped my pants. As I pushed my underwear out of the way my penis practically jumped out! I'd never been able to see myself in this state before and I was amazed. I pressed myself down, but I simply jumped back up. I couldn't pee, because I was pointing straight at the wall, and as I tried to aim 'it' I noticed, 'wow, this feels great!' I was eventually able to urinate (be leaning forward over the bowl) and when I went back to my room to change I spent what must have been the whole afternoon exploring the new feelings I had from touching myself, enjoying the experience thoroughly right up to when the muscle spasms hit and my penis took on a life of its own, jerking free from my hand. Much later I realized that I masturbated to my first orgasm that day. The memory is very vivid and I'm sure that that was the first time I'd done it.
My first experience with another person was later than same year, over the summer, and it was with my beautiful cousin. I was showering when she knocked on the door and asked if she could come in.
'I'm in the shower.'
'I really need to use the bathroom.'
'I'll be out soon.'
'I gotta pee really bad! Please?'
I would have done anything she asked so I said 'alright.' I don't know where the impulse came from - it certainly wasn't something I planned - but I got an incredible urge to take a peek at her on the toilet. I pulled back the curtain a bit and looked out, causing her to look up quickly, but not to move her knees together. I was shocked to see she had hair 'down there,' and she seemed shocked to see me violating her privacy.
'Don't be a perv!'
I was speechless.
'I can see you, too, you know.'
Thinking back on it, I don't think she really could, but she was trying to embarrass me, too. If she had seen me, she would have seen that I'd gotten an almost instant erection. I pulled the curtain closed, and masturbated furiously after she left.
Neither one of us mentioned this for awhile until one day when we were in the pool at her house. Again, I don't know where I got the nerve, but I just blurted out, 'When can I see you pee again?' I think I was just trying to shock her, but she shocked me. 'Right now, if I can see you, too.'
Her family's property was wooded and very private. There was a shed opposite the house and behind it we would be alone - shielded from the house by the shed and from any neighbors by the many trees. Once we were alone there she dropped the bottoms to her swimsuit, squatted and 'performed' for me again. Again, I got hard almost right away. Now it was my turn. She stepped closer as I pushed down my swim trunks and displayed my stiff penis. I couldn't 'go' right away, I was too nervous, and she stared fixedly as she said I could take my time. I closed my eyes, tried to relax and was able finally to let her watch me. As the stream of urine trailed off she said she was surprised how far I could pee. I opened my eyes and she smiled nicely at me, but she also stepped closer. I'd been holding myself with my right hand to aim straight ahead, and now she reached out to touch my penis, timidly at first, then gently stroking. Because I was hard my foreskin was away from the head of my penis, and her fingers were a little rough on this sensitive area, but not too bad. She shocked me again by stepping even closer, right in front of me now, and holding the head of my penis to her bush. I felt the hair, then wetness (which I assumed at the time was coming from me) and smooth skin, and I felt that her body temperature must have been about two hundred degrees 'down there.' I didn't understand then that she was using me to masturbate, but sensations overwhelmed me and soon the muscle contractions started. My erection jumped in her hand as it often did in mine, and her mouth dropped open. She looked down at our genitals, then right into my eyes. She called me by her pet name for me and suggested we not tell anyone else about this - ever. I masturbated to this memory for a long time after, and sometimes still do.
I enjoyed my childhood masturbation sessions, sometimes stripping in front of a mirror, sometimes watching myself do the deed. This is what I was doing one day when my mother walked in and caught me in the act. I got a slap across the face and a lecture - I was going to hurt my manhood, she said. I never knew if she meant hurt my chance of becoming a man or physically hurt my penis, but the guilt followed me for years.
I had a great girlfriend in college - junior & senior year - and she was able to help me get over some of my shyness and guilty feelings about sex. She herself was a conservative girl, and wanted to stay a virgin until marriage, but she was also in touch with her body and wanted to satisfy her own urges. So long as there was no actual penetration she didn't consider masturbating together to be sex. She used to hump my thigh and hip - especially the top where the bone juts out. She had the same warm, silky, wet feeling that my cousin had many years before, and I understood a little more about that past encounter as I explored and played with my girlfriend. Without telling her about me and my cousin I showed her how to masturbate using my erect penis, and we went even farther, with her 'fucking' me by inserting her clit into the opening at the tip of my penis. She also invited me to masturbate between her breasts (she called it a 'titty fuck'), which has become another favorite fantasy of mine. As we got to know and trust each other we spent a lot of time masturbating together, sometimes laying side-by-side while we did it, other times watching each other, other times giving each other handjobs. She was open to letting me ejaculate on her belly and breasts, even on her face and in her hair. Sometimes she rubbed my come over her breasts or belly for me, once I licked it off of her breasts. She asked only that I be careful never to come near her vulva. She was a wonderful person and this was a beautiful way to learn about sex and to get over the awkwardness that we have as kids. We also got really into oral sex, but that's another story.
I hope the other regulars on this site will enjoy this post as much as I've enjoyed theirs.