Firstly, I have been suffering from a phimosis since my childhood. It was operated twice, but the operation failed. I have a long foreskin, prepuce, which is extra sensitive, and a center for delight. It can not be pulled back as normally, and the penetration and the movement in the vagina is uncomfortable, or even painful. The technique to get a satisfaction, is not a common one. I have to use three fingers around the glans, and to roll the foreskin left and right.
That was the reason for being inhibited in the contact with the girls, as I was adolescent. The masturbation played a big compensatory role in my life. I started it as I was 5. Later I took books, or pictures with erotic content, in order to increase the excitement.
At school, a friendly company met twice a week, for jerking off. We seated around a big table, covered with magazines and pics. We did not see the other masturbating under the table. We focused on the pictures, expressing our wildest fantasies in connection with the nude girls on the pics. It was an important imprinting to me psychologically. George, a good friend, who organised these parties, remained a friend for life, and became an important figure later.
At the university, in spite of my distanced, and inhibited attitude, a pretty tall girl started to approach to me. I was 20, she was 21. She came from a well off liberal family, she had had already two sex partners in her life. She did a lot of different sports. Her long legs, well proportioned figure, small but sharply pointed tits attracted every man.
At the beginning, the petting was the main pleasure for us. She revealed soon my anatomical defect, but we compensated ourselves with big variety of oral-genital activity. She enjoyed the '69' particularly (me too!). Several times we tried the real penetration. Usually I ejaculated too early, besides it was not a big joy for me.
She became pregnant, we married. We got a baby. Our sex life was constraint to French kisses and handjobs. I was very enthusiastic experiencing her multiple orgasms as I licked her pussy, and sucked her clit. I taught her, how to give my dick a perfect handjob at the end.
She discovered some porn magazines of my big collection. I never gave up the masturbation. She was not offended, and she demanded me to show the nude girls, or teen couples in the pics that I liked. She asked me to masturbate, and she joined me. Since that time the mutual masturbation became an integral part of our sexual life. Sometimes it ended in a passionate cunnilingus again, with her loud joy.
As she was not ready for sex every night, she allowed me to fill this gap with masturbation. Once she bought to me several soft and hard magazines. Seemingly everything was OK.
One day, my friend George appeared again. He returned from abroad, and divorced. He became a regular visitor in our home. My wife liked his sense of humor. Slowly, their friendly relationship was getting closer and closer. One day, my wife confessed me, that she had had sexual intercourse with George. There was a big row, thereafter. She referred to her wanting of a real penetration, a big huge dick in her pussy. I was not able to give it to her. As she started to go into details, how the sex happened with George, I felt my dick erect. She observed my excitement, and gave more and more intimate details. I suggested a masturbation session. She agreed, and we undressed rapidly. She was telling her story, from the foreplay with George until their orgasm. I shot a big amount of semen, which she followed with her orgasm.
We made a concession. We would maintain our marriage, but for a while, she might have an adventure with George. She promised to report to me every detail exhaustively after the sex with George. This agreement worked well. As she was at George's, I masturbated, shot into her panties. I persuaded her approval to take a lot of photos about her undressed. I watched these pics, trying to imagine how the sex could be between them.
The next evolutionary stage was the following; I suggested to invite George to our flat. She was to seduce him and to have sex, meanwhile I would be able to listen to every characteristic noise in the next room. The plan worked very well. Probably, my wife played her role even better for my sake. Relying on her former explanations, I was able to imagine actually what and how they did. I accompanied their sexual fulfillment with my solo delight.
Later George realised our secret play. He offered me the possibility to watch the sex between them on the spot. My wife hesitated a little, and later she agreed.
On the great day, I got an armchair, and George and my wife entertained me with the most pleasurable and delightful live show that I have seen. Seemingly my wife avoided the oral-genital with him. George penetrated her, very soon. There was a long riding scene, as my wife rode on his cock, showing me her delicious bottom. That was the point, when I could not help shoot a big load of cum. They managed to prolonge their delight, and when George started to fuck my wife from behind, and my wife's groan was getting louder and louder signaling her orgasm coming, I began my second run on my dick. My testicles elevated painfully, and it came a long lasting, pulsating ejaculation. My wife observed it, and her joy became louder. It was the most fantastic masturbation in my life!
Our relationship threesome was repeated several times, ending always in a superb orgasm for everybody. Of course they had their separate sex, and I have my usual oral sex with my wife.
Unfortunately George had to go for abroad for business again. He said goodbye, and my wife fell into deep depression. Our sex became rather infrequent, and colorless. After two year she got lung cancer, and she died rapidly and relatively young. She is never to be replaced.
Since then, I have had sex sporadically only. The main consolation is the masturbation. Sometimes I use porn, by video or by internet, but always the greatest arousal is by remembering her figure, face, voice, and her 'infidelity.'