It Took Seven Years

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This story is kind of odd in my mind, because as you'll notice, I used to not have that open of a mind when it came to sex and how I was brought up to treat sex and masturbating. I can't remember completely about how my parents brought me up in regards to sex and masturbation (I know I was NEVER told about female masturbation and my parents almost made sex seem like a bad thing at times because they fought about it a lot). However, knowing now that sex and masturbation is completely natural and normal, I feel a lot more comfortable. For all of you parents out there, especially the parents of daughters, please tell them that masturbation is ok, that it's not a bad thing. It's completely healthy and natural, but then again, I'm assuming that if you frequent this site, you already know that. ;) So here's my story, before I met someone who changed my perception on masturbation and sex.

I started noticeably masturbating when I was 10 (in other words, I can't remember masturbating anytime before that). I didn't really know what to do or anything because the only thing I ever heard about masturbation for females was in Seventeen Magazine and that never told you anything. So, mostly what I did was play with my developing breasts and touched my sides, seeing what felt good. I never dared to touch my pussy for many reasons. I thought by doing so would mean I'm 'sexually active' and my doctor would scold me and stuff 'cause I was only 10. Though my parents talked openly about sex when I was younger, I never really wanted to talk about sex or masturbation. There are many reasons why.

Ok, so if you must know, I'm a rather large woman, both in height and weight. 5'11', 340 lbs, and I'm pear/rectangular shaped. Anyway, always having a sizable amount of girth, I never wanted to be seen naked and I never wanted to have sex. I guess I was traumatized by these things when I was younger, but it really did affect me for a long time. However, during the summer especially, I'd stay up late at night and start playing with my tits. Then, I'd imagine that someone was watching me and getting turned on by my poses in torn or small articles clothing. I felt really dirty doing this. It felt wrong to me mainly because, from what I know, I was hiding something from my parents and I was being sexual. And I had a real weird fetish of liking to rip my clothes off of me. It made me feel sexy and animalistic. I also liked to read dirty stories and look at naked women in my dad's Easyrider magazine. (note: I consider myself to be predominately heterosexual, though I have some bisexual tendencies)

For 7 years, I'd 'masturbate' on occasion. Mostly during the summer because I could stay up later, therefore hiding movements and nakedness from my parents. And then finding out more about sex, though I really didn't want to, I discovered really didn't know what an orgasm was. But I know I'd never masturbated to one. Watching the Discovery Channel while my dad was outside, I found out what an orgasm was and realize that I never wanted to have one because having one would be equal to having sex and I didn't want to have sex. Well, my body was about to change that.

One night, probably one or two days before my family and I were leaving to take me to school in Idaho, I just started to masturbate my usual way. I unbuttoned my shirt, slid my bra off of my shoulders and seductively unsnapped it. I played with my tits, massaging them, kneading them, touching my nipples to make them erect and then try to make them soft again. I lightly stroked the sides of my body. Then, I decided to rip my holey cotton underwear off, rather slowly. Then, I decided to touch my pussy, just a little, tracing it until I found the beginning of the slit. At that moment, without doing hardly anything, I felt a heavy pain shoot up and down my inner thighs and I kept convulsing. I was very scared at first because I didn't know what I did. Though I'm not a deeply religious person, I thought that God was punishing me with this pain for being a bad girl and playing with my pussy. Then I calmed down and realized that I had my first orgasm. Then I wanted to make sure that I never had one ever again. But, I just couldn't help seeing if I could do it again. I actually rather enjoyed that painful sensation after I realized what it was. It took a lot more effort to get another one, however, I did have another.

I kinda figure that all of those 7 years of my teasing myself finally just built up and exploded that one night. I just remembering barely touching what I found out was the base of my clit and I had an orgasm. Ever since then, I happily played with my pussy as well as kept to the tradition of including my tits into the equation. However, I still felt bad and dirty for masturbating because again, in my mind, masturbating was like sex and I didn't want to have sex. Well, in another story, I'll tell you how THAT all changed. ;)

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