If you want it bad enough, you can find ways.
I was alone on a weekend in New Mexico. I had not planned to be there, but a business trip with cancelled flights made it manditory.
After a hike out into the countryside, I went back to my room and started surfing, gravitating as usual to some sites that encouraged my thoughts of getting off. Had I been at home, or had I been planning to be away, I would have had a vibrator nearby. Since I was a teen, I have enjoyed anal penetration to enhance masterbation. Beginning with carrots, cucumbers, fingers, (mine or someone elses)I've experienced a lot. But what was I going to do today?
I started stroking myself with spit for lube, but that just got me more interested in finding something to put up my ass. I teased myself with fingers, feeling the rim grab them to increase the friction. I showered and used soap, forcing two, then three, fingers into my hole as I stroked. Still, I didn't want to cum at that point. I was now fixated on what I would find.
Dressing quickly, I left the room for the local supermarket, and headed directly to the produce department. Believe it or not, the sight of a Zucchini gave me a hard on. I felt that I was being too obvious when I picked up that green squash and put it alongside the banana in my basket. Thinking I wanted a variety of feelings and size, I added a chinese eggplant, the ones that are narrow at the top, like a cock, and broad at the base, like huge balls. A cucumber was chosen because of past experience.
But it was in the meat department that I stopped cold. There was the best of all: a huge Polish Sausage, over 16' long and a bit over an inch and a half diameter. I considered larger wursts, but the length and flexibility of the polish sausage was PERFECT!!
To this perfect assortment of entertaining foods, I added two necessities: condoms and lube, and the condoms for the spicy sausage. I didn't think I'd like the burning that might come from using the sausage bare. By the time I got to the checkout counter, I was sure that the clerk was going to report me for vegetable abuse!
I sped back to the hotel and was stripping down to nude in seconds. Washed all the vegetables; unwrapped the sausage.
I tried the sausage first. I unrolled a condom onto the shaft, which covered only about a third of the length. I lubed up my butt and, leaning over the ottoman in the room, shoved the sausage slowly up and into my anus. Deep and slow. The cold shaft kept on going farther. I could feel my anus compressing the meat as I bore down on it.
Leaving the sausage inside me, I got up and moved to the bed. Lying down on my back, I put my feet up onto the headboard and spread my legs while pulling forward with my hips to open up my ass. The extended length of the sausage was curving up under my dick and was easy to grab with one hand. Slowly I started spreading lube onto my cock and moving the sausage in and out of my ass. I stopped just in time to save an early orgasm, and just stayed there doing my ass with the longest thing I had ever found for the purpose.
The sausage had gotten me going. Now I wanted size. I pulled out the sausage and set it aside for later. I used the cucumber, stretching my ass to accomodate it. Not enough.
I picked up the chinese eggplant. It was over two inches, almost three, in diameter, but the top was tapered so that the cucumber I'd used earlier made it possible to insert. This time I got onto my knees, held the greased up eggplant vertical against the bed, and lowered my ass onto the top of it. It felt huge. I pushed down and felt my muscles relax a bit, allowing the tip then the big shaft enter me. I could hardly move, but did to let it go in and out of me as I stroked my cock. As I got closer, I settled down onto the eggplant, getting it farther into me than I ever thought I could. I felt myself gripping the thing and watched as I shot my load a full three inches down the sheets. My ass had relaxed to the point that I could move up and down easily on the eggplant and I finished off the session just enjoying the penetration.
That was the first afternoon of a three day stay. I washed up my vegetable and sausage stash and stored them for later. After all pieces had been experienced, I decided that the sausage with a condom was the best and the most erotic. Since that trip, I have used sausages at home and have not used plastic imitations to give my ass what it wants. And, the sausage bare is NOT too spicy. The heat adds a whole new dimension.