Dreams are amazing aren't they?
My good friend and ex-boyfriend (who is now gay) has gone to live and work in LA leaving me the run of his apartment in Manhattan as I don't have anywhere to live right now. We webchat now and then and I had this really extraordinary dream about him last night.
I dreamt we were talking on ichat and my landline started ringing so I asked him to hold on while I took the call. I was gone maybe five minutes and when I came back he was on the floor (at his end) having fallen off his chair. He looked flustered and I started laughing saying 'What the hell are you doing on the floor??. He changed the subject and I didn't push it and after we'd finished our conversation and I signed off, somehow I realized that our conversation had been recorded. I pressed the play button and I saw what had happened when I had gone off to take my phone call.
He was sitting on his chair and, looking bored, suddenly unzipped his fly pulling out his hard penis from his pants and he started to jerk off. His eyes were closed and he looked utterly swept away and lost in some blissful fantasy. It was good seeing him like that, if slightly strange as I had never seen him masturbate (when we were together he thought it was 'dirty' and never wanted me to do it to him!!). I was staring at him, open-mouthed, seeing this side of him. He stood up then and moved back and I could see him wildly masturbating now all over his room, giving himself up completely to the experience until he climaxed, shooting cum all over himself and fell down on the floor.. at which point I then re-entered the picture.
I'm not sure if I am going to tell him I had this dream or not. I know exactly what it means and it doesn't surprise me in the least. To me, it is confirmation of how extremely happy I am that he is connected to his sexuality. I know that most people suspect I have a problem with homosexuality having been through this with him (I don't and never have - four out of my six closest friends are gay and male) and when he tentatively came out to me (which was a relief as our relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend was over for me ) it was me trying to tell him that there was nothing weird or wrong about gay sex!! He said 'That's all very well for you to say!'
True. It's not something I have to own or integrate being pretty straight (aside from a few passing attractions to women here and there).. Also, I can't say the anal thing turns me on that much because I had a recurring internal haemorrhoid for about three years in my late 20s, early 30s which was horrible and I was convinced I had bowel cancer. Shitting blood kind of freaks you out! I had various doctors sticking their fingers up me and a colonoscopy which was THE most excruciating pain I have ever known. I felt like I was being stabbed with long knives.... That area is kind of sensitive and sacred to me now.
So, bearing the above in mind, the stories that deal with anal pleasure on Solo Touch don't get much attention from me and neither do the MM stories. After so many years of helping gay men come to turns with their sexuality (not just my ex-boyfriends.. there have been at least three other men who have featured heavily in my life) and me putting others' needs before my own....I made a pact with myself this New Year as I was heading out to a NY's Eve party peopled entirely with gay men.... that 2007 was going to be the year I got some action myself and chances were I wasn't going to get any if I kept hanging around men who found me about as sexually alluring as the fairy on top of the Christmas Tree!
Bring it on...