Help With Frustration

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This is posted in response to Brittany's story of frustration.
Link 1: Brittany's frustration

 

Here's my advice:

1. Don't look to someone else to 'show [you] precisely where everything goes'. Unless you're planning to have your first sexual experiences with someone years older than you, or you're willing to wait several years, you're going to be much better off figuring things out for yourself. You don't mention how old you are, but do you really think that a boy your age will be able to show you what brings you pleasure, when you can't tell for yourself?

2. Some women get the most pleasure from clitoral stimulation, and others find vaginal stimulation much more pleasurable. For clitoral stimulation, put your finger at the entrance to your vaginal opening, and begin moving it in small circles. Now, slowly, move your finger 'up' (towards your bellybutton). When you find the spot that feels best (there will probably be at least a bit of a bump), focus on that spot. Fantasize about whatever makes you horny. Use some hand lotion to keep things slippery, if necessary. If this gets you nowhere, the technique of using the showerhead or faucet on yourself seems to work well for a lot of contributors.

3. If that's not working for you, maybe vaginal stimulation is what you need. Insert your middle finger and just explore. The trick here is that the most sensitive spots are usually at the 'end' (deepest part) of your vagina, and your finger may not be long enough to reach. Find something safe (i.e. smooth and not fragile) that's longer than your middle finger, but not too big to fit inside you. A marker may work well. Alternatively, you may want to try (over time) working a second and third finger inside yourself, so that you can accomodate something larger, like a cucumber.

4. Achieving orgasm isn't like firing a gun; you need to be patient with yourself. You may need to try five or six different methods, on several different nights, to find what makes you happy. Women, especially, may not be able to achieve orgasm in 30 seconds, even if you're 'doing it right'. Good luck!

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