Enjoying healthy male solo sex as a single Christian man
A few years ago, I had spoken to another man who had the same experiences I did, and wanted to enjoy his sexual activity as a single Christian guy, and not revert to 'acting out' as we had once done. Learning how to curb my libido was not as difficult as I thought, yet the desire to masturbate would occasionally arise, and I wanted to enjoy it.
The thing that I remember most about what the 'brother' told me was to slow down and enjoy it, 'Perhaps using your left hand instead of your right would help you in that.' He was right, and I have learned that I have far less of a tendency to rush through the experience, to enjoy the sensations. The second part of that was something I had to practice: If I were to have an image pop into my head of anyone while enjoying the act, to stop, allow the arousal to subside until I stopped thinking of that person [even if it meant getting dressed and going out], and come back later. I slowly learned to only think of the enjoyable sensations coursing through my body and not another person, although it took a few sessions to do it.
In addition to that, I read an article online in the last couple of years, that stated; 1) God does not say, ANYWHERE in the Bible, 'Thou shalt not masturbate.' 2) If God did not want us to masturbate, he would have put our penises in the middle of our backs or some other place where we could not reach them. 3) Strict adherents to the Bible say 'If you cannot masturbate without fantasy, then you should not be masturbating.' That is true, and for those who cannot, they need not be masturbating. I have learned to manage my libido with occasional indulgences, and found it brings the inner 'pressure' I feel from my hormones back down to size, so I don't feel the need to act out as I once did. As a single man, I am better able to manage life, including my libido, with occasional indulgences, WITHOUT fantasy, just by concentrating on the good feelings it produces, and not lusting after every 'lovely sight,' by being aware of the sheer joy it brings to enjoy my body.
For those of us who are single, especially, this is a wonderful gift. God did mandate to us to 'master our bodies,' and to bring all the things into submission. That means we are to learn how to bring our passions into line. It does not say 'Thou shalt not masturbate.' Let's not add anything to what he tells us [Acts 17:11]. Enjoying our bodies, in a way that does not 'lust after' anyone is not a sin, in my opinion, and teaches us to 'master ourselves,' which we are mandated to do. Even if God does not provide a wife for me, at least I have 'a way out,' and have learned to keep my libido from wandering off too far with this. While some may vehemently disagree with me on the issue, I have peace about it, as I know I am doing the best I can with my understanding of the issue and of God, at this time in my life.
Moral issues aside, I did want to comment briefly on the aspect of 'loving oneself,' as I believe we need to enjoy what we see in the mirror, first, and second to love our bodies, to enjoy them, and give ourselves 'permission' to enjoy the sensual aspect of pleasuring ourselves within the act of masturbation. Feeling my penis in my hand as I become aroused is one of the greatest pleasures I have in this, and adding the orgasmic experience really gives creedence to what a wonderful thing we have with the gift of sexual pleasure. Keeping in mind that it is we, in the societies of 'the West', that have added years to the experience of being a teenager/young adult that other societies do not, and many societies have their teens getting married at an early age, it is unknown in many countries for young men of 16 or above ages to still be single, therefore masturbation is not widely practiced after the young man becomes sexually mature, rather, he becomes sexually active with his wife, precluding masturbation, for the most part anyway. United States' lifestyles, high school and college years are/were unknown in ancient societies, and still unknown in some societies today.
Enjoying one's sexuality can be something healthy, if we make healthy choices, and learn to manage our libido in ways that are not destructive, to ourselves or others. Masturbation, without fantasy [if you are able to shut that off in our heads] can be something that brings mastery over our more passionate side, and gives creedence to the Biblical mandate of learning to 'master ourselves.'