Not quite a story, but I didn't know where else to post this.
I began masturbating when I was young. Back then, I never felt any sort of guilt about it-I didn't associate it with other people or any religious ramifications. It just felt good. My pillow became my best friend, in more ways than one, and I found myself spending extra time in the bathtub, exploring the crazy, sensitive weirdness between my legs.
Over the years, I've developed my technique, and I'm learning what makes me feel good, what doesn't, and what can get me off in a hurry if I need, and so on and so forth. I've also developed a few personal fantasies that I resort to, all of which are highly impersonal. This has become a trend over the last couple of years, and I'm starting to realize that any sort of emotional fantasy-involving someone I like at the time, or even a future, fantastical lover-makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Even when I don't involve another person, or don't fantasize at all, I often feel guilty afterward, and busy myself doing something completely unrelated to get rid of the feeling.
My questions are these: Has anyone else ever felt this way? How did you handle it? How can I make myself more comfortable with my own sexuality? We've never really discussed sexuality in my house, but on the few occasions it did come up, it was always treated with delicacy and respect. I can't see any reason for this guilt, and I don't know what to do about it.
Thank you in advance.