Now that she is gone I can tell this story to someone other than my husband.
I had a cousin, Louise, who was just a few days older than me. Our mothers, who were step-sisters, were very close.
From the time we were young we went to the same girls scout camp each summer. The week before and after was always spent at a farm owned by my grandparents. It was the highlight of my summer.
The year Louise had hit puberty, she was at least six inches taller than I was and had small breasts that clearly showed under her shirt. I was both surprised and jealous.
That night we unpacked our things in the upstairs bedroom of the farmhouse and got ready for bed. I unpacked a teddy bear. Louise unpacked a box of tampons. I had no idea what they were. As he undressed I recall her taking off her panties and looking at the crotch. She had a small triangle of dark pubic hair covering her mound. He body was so different than mine, so different that how I remembered her. I was still a girl and she was almost a woman.
That night we talked about her getting her period and the fact that her mother had let her use tampons for the first time as we were going to have swimming lessons at camp. She described the sensation of putting something inside her for the first time. I asked her to show me and she did. By the light of a small bathroom lamp Louise inserted a Tampax and opened her legs to me showing the string hanging from her vagina.
We got back in bed together and Louise asked me if I ever touched myself. I answered honestly that I had never done anything like that and without saying a word she slipped a hand up my nightgown and under my panties. She found my clit and slowly rubbed a finger up and down my crack. She gently opened my legs and with each down-stroke she pushed a little deeper into my vagina which was getting wetter and wetter. It felt good but I was too tense to enjoy it.
After a moment she and I both took off our nightgowns and sat facing each other Indian style on the bed. She told me to watch her as she came. [I had no clue what she meant but went along fascinated by what I was watching] With one hand she would pull the tampon string out but with her other hand she had inserted her middle finger in her vagina and would push it back in while pressing on her clit. [This is a method I perfected later on] After a few moments she began breathing hard and then pushed her hand into herself as hard and as deeply as she could before falling back onto the bed holding her legs together tightly while gasping for air like a fish.
I thought she was faking, playing some kind of trick on me.
Louise then said it was my turn but I got frightened and said I did not want to put a tampon in. Laughing Louise said I did not have to do that but just relax and touch myself. Feeling skeptical I did what she said.
She lay back on a stack of pillows with her legs open and I lay between them, my head on her belly. If she leaned forward she could just reach my vulva. She guided my hand and whispered instructions into my ears. After a while I needed no advice as my body told me what to do. The orgasm came quickly and it was intense. I too was soon gasping like a fish out of water; amazed at what had just happened. We fell asleep in each others arms, waking at dawn to find each other naked as the day we were born.
Over the next few days we explored each others bodies every chance we could be alone. Each night we would take a long hot bath in the huge crowfoot tub and we would press our vulvas together scissoring, we thought it was our invention. I allowed Louise to push the handle of a potato-masher (washed and covered in Vaseline) so far deep inside me I could watch it move as it pressed against my stomach from the inside.
The day before we left Louise started her period and was in an awful mood. She would not let me touch her and slept in the other bed. When we got to camp things got worse as we were put in separate cabins. Louise got put in with a group of older girls, while I was in a cabin with 9 and 10 year olds. I asked one of the counselors, a girl of perhaps 18 how they chose who was in what cabin. She just said that if you wore a bra you were in that cabin. Bleeders was what we younger girls called them behind their backs.
Each night, I quietly masturbated in my sleeping bag and I am sure some of the other girls did as well.
When we got back to the farm, Louise tried to make it up to me and I let her. We made love for hours outdoors on the front lawn one day as my grandparents went out in the early morning and we knew they would not return until well after dark.
The next summer my grandmother was ill and died. I did not go to camp although Louise did. That was the last time either of us went to camp or visited the farm, which was sold soon afterwards. We would still see each other from time to time but never spoke of that summer. Louise recently passed after a long struggle with breast cancer.