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Getting Out of a Rut

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I am 26 and single. I have not had a man inside me for almost two years. I broke up with my BF after a long relationship and was hurt, upset and generally pissed off at the world for some time. I realize I was truly depressed. Since learning what my clit was for when I was 11 and getting sexually active in my late teens, I have rarely gone more than a day or two without cumming. One day, shortly before my period, I was taking stock of my tampon supply and looked at the condoms, lube and my dildo in the back of the drawer. It was a shock that I realized on day that I had not masturbated in at least a month, if not more. This was a bit of a wake up call and I knew I needed to get out of my rut. That night I made a point of getting the dildo out, lubing it up and sliding it inside me. It felt pleasant and familiar but I did not really try to cum. I fell asleep with it inside me. Over the next few weeks I got back into the routine of 'finding time to myself'. It was hard to not think about the past as I tried to masturbate. On the whole it was not so good. Last week I went on a business trip. The hotel was directly across the street from a strip mall that contained a nice Indian restaurant. Beside the restaurant there was an adult video and sex shop. After having dinner with some others, we walked past the sex shop and I felt a stirring in my crotch. My hornyness had returned. On a whim the next evening, I walked over to the restaurant and ordered some take-out. While the food was being prepared, I ducked next door. A very friendly, heavily tattooed gay man helped me select a new penis shaped vibrating dildo. I wanted to buy the slim/small one but he convinced me the larger one was the right choice. I also bought a large bottle of a gel-lube I had never tried before. The old man at the restaurant gave my black plastic bag a funny look as he handed over the curry and I went back to my room. I opened the dildo box while eating and just sat there looking at it. It looked much larger and more frightening than in the store. I held it in my hand and it seemed much thicker than any penis I have ever taken into my vagina. I showered and shaved my vulva smooth, turned off the lights and got into bed. At first I lay and touched myself, my breasts, my nipples and my mound before lubing my fingers and opening myself up. I pressed the tip of the dildo against my vagina and pushed gently. I could just get the head in before the resistance became painful. I re-lubed and tried again, getting a little deeper. Using the head, with the vibe on, I pressed it hard against my clit and quickly came. Now that I was relaxed, I pushed it inside me. It was painful for a moment before my body accepted it. With it inside my vagina, I slowly pressed and pulled it taking slightly longer strokes each time, each stroke easier and deeper than the last as my vagina relaxed, opened and got wetter. After a pair of strong orgasms, I took a break and turned on the TV but soon grew bored and went back to the dildo. I put a towel over a square footstool with another pillow on top. This made a nice platform to ride. Sitting on the corner I pressed down on the dildo as hard as I could. The angle was perfect and the curve on the dildo was right on my g spot. I spent a hour or so just sitting there, watching myself in the mirror. The next morning I was very sore. I am now out of my 'rut' and am thinking of dating again.

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