I have been a widower for five years and have not had sex for about seven years due to my wife's illness. For a long time this did not bother me and I just jerked off when the need arose.
But over the last 12 months or so I've become hornier and hornier, I look at porn on the net all the time, hence arriving here. I have never had any sexual contact with a man nor did I ever even think of it, that is until recently.
I find myself looking at men on the net more than women. I got so frustrated that I booked myself into a male massage service. I arrived at a private apartment in a nice area of town and was really, really nervous but also very excited. I rang the bell and was let in by a good looking man of about 35.
He greeted me well and took me into a purpose built room with a massage table and nice paintings on the wall and soft music in the background. He told me to strip off and lay face down on the table and he would be back in a minute.
I did this but put the towel provided over my backside. He came back in dressed in tight shorts and a t-shirt and asked me if I was relaxed. I answered in a squeeky yes.
He rubbed a bit of oil on his hands and then started to massage my legs. Eventually he ended at the top of my legs and was brushing my bottom crack and as I opened my legs he lightly touched my balls.
I was hard as a rock now and feeling very, very horny. He came round and started to massage my shoulders and then I did something without even thinking, I reached out and rubbed him between his legs.
When I did this he dropped his shorts and took off his t-shirt. He had the biggest cock I have ever seen, and had a beautiful body. He told me to roll over which I did and my cock was the hardest it has been in years.
I am not very big down there, about 5.5' but I'm sure I was more six inches by the massive swelling of lust. I started to stroke his big cock and he began to get hard, I could not believe I was doing this.
I then kept fondling his cock and he took mine in his hand and started to stroke me. Within less than a minute I had a teenager type orgasm that shot my sperm everywhere, it was just what I needed. Nearly 10 years of frustration shot out of my cock.
He finished my normal massage and I paid and left feeling satisfied but all of a sudden very guilty.
Had I turned gay late in life.
I want to do it again but feel very confused, horny and guilty.
Do I carry on.
I would welcome your comments and advice to help this 'dirty old man'.