Every word is true.
Let me preface this with three pieces of information: on days off, especially if I am home alone, I make it a point to pleasure myself at least once. It's my day off, after all. Secondly, my sex drive lately has skyrocketed because I stopped taking an SSRI. Therefore, it feels to me that I am so much more orgasmic than I ever was, even experiencing many levels of orgasm in one session. Also, I don't keep a dildo at home so I sometimes use a cucumber if I know I am feeling lusty and will have a lot of privacy. So, I'm ok with produce.
My lover brought home some small plums from a neighboring farm this morning. They lay on the table on a clean rag for us to pick at. I only had one, but he was eating and eating of them, off and on all day. Then there were only three left. I was alone in the kitchen later when one of them caught my eye. It was the perfect size and shape of a circumcised cock's head. I had to touch it. It was firm. The tip felt like the entire head of my lover's gorgeous cock, only shinier. I ran my thumb over the tip and felt myself get red, warm, and wet. A smooth notch was on the tip, under which was a narrow ridge. I wanted to rub it all over my pussy. I hesitated; it was late afternoon and almost time for something else. I went for it, which is obviously why the story continues.
Off to privacy, standing in the powder room under the stairs: under my jeans, I ran the plum down along my slit starting from the top, lightly brushing my clit and pressing a little harder and poking inward at the end of my lips, the way my lover threatens to penetrate me when he uses his cock as a toy on me. The shape felt so real and it was phenomenal. I loved controlling the plum-head dick, and wanted him to rub his real toy all over my pussy.
The plum, though, had delicate skin and lacked the action of my fingers. I wanted more, so I now took the plum in my left hand and held it, licking my fingers to slip over my clit for a quickie instead. A moment later, I open my eyes and looked down at my hand rhythmically stroking in my jeans and can feel myself getting ready to go. I see my other hand holding the plum. My hand rests on the sink in front of my zipper and looks almost like I have a cock myself. It strikes me as funny.
To amuse myself, I jerk that wrist a little. I put my thumb close to the tip and pretend I am a guy. I almost laugh at myself. Then, before I am conscious of what I am doing, I am jerking off without reservation. (It makes me feel free somehow and I'm definitely getting off on that.) I keep jerking my new cock, seeing what all guys see when they're stroking. I am not at all aware that I am wildly fingering my clit, I only see the movement and rhythm of my left hand jerking off. I'm JERKING OFF. It turns me on so much that when I cum, I swear I can feel my cock shoot off.
This is probably the most spontaneous masturbation (of the erotic sort) that I've enjoyed to date.