This is about my life and jilling-it is not the many times this has happened with someone else, this is purely my journey in masturbation. Please forgive me if it is long. I don't know why I want to write this now, but it is important to me.
The first buds of puberty making themselves known in little firm breasts that ached as they grew, but with nipples that would sometimes harden into exquisite agony. A fine down of pubic hair, invisible to my mum, but I was aware of the change, and panties that, each and every day were damp and smelled musky. I hated that so much. I tried panty-liners, but they chafed too much. At night, it began by me lying on my bed with my legs apart to let some air circulate down there and dry me off, but somewhere in my pubescent brain was the knowledge that having my legs open was the prelude to something more. An inquisitive finger found that hard little bud nestling between the moist folds. It was then, one night, that the exploration didn't stop until my legs stiffened and I felt a deep, almost uncontrollable urge to pee that I fought until, inevitably, I lost the battle, but was rewarded by my first orgasm that ripped through me like a tidal wave.
From there, I pushed the envelope by looking at porn on the internet, laying with my legs apart but my knees drawn up and inviting an imaginary lover between my legs. And the language! The internet gave me all the forbidden words and oh, what joy to utter them into the privacy of my bedroom! At 13 and 14 I had graduated to being, in my mind at least, a whore when I masturbated. I loved the language! I loved the swearing. When I had the house to myself, I would talk out loud, shout, even scream. 'Fuck me! Fuck my cunt! Fuck me, you bastard! Cream up me!'
And then, my new sexual sense realised why mum and dad were 'tired' on Tuesday nights and why they had a long lie in on Sunday. On those times, I would listen carefully. I heard the moans, the sighs, and when I refined my spying technique, I hear the words, how they would role play sometimes, how they would sometimes be unutterably tender with each other, and how, on other times, they would swear, call each other names and be abusive. It all seemed to work for them. The most popular was when mum wanted to be 'his whore'. My dad would verbally abuse her calling her vile names as she sighed and moaned and the bed squeaked. I would be in the adjoining closet in my room, ear pressed to the airvent and hand between my legs. For some reason, when mum said things like 'Fuck me, you horny cunt' it would make me cum every time. And yes, I would imagine the same cock that made me pounding her. (At that age, I had no idea how painful being penetrated can be, so to me it was all pleasure.)
At 15, I was an experienced and frequent jiller, at least once a day minimum. More usually I would masturbate early in the morning, and then at school. I learned to masturbate in class by pressing my thighs together, and later by putting something in my panties that would rub my clit. I learned that my mind was 80% of my orgasm and I could certainly use that during the boring lessons. At 15, I was discovered. My mum walked into my room without knocking and found me with a finger inside me about two seconds away from cumming. In fact, I came before she even closed the door. I figured there was no point in delaying the embarrassing conversation that would, no doubt, follow, so I went downstairs and found a note on the table. 'Back in an hour.' So, I jilled off again, hell why not!' When I heard the door go, I leapt out of bed and threw a dressing gown on and went downstairs. Before I could say a word, mum hugged me 'I am so proud of you.' Then she told me that I would eventually want to cum with 'something inside you' She told be that some girls use bananas or carrots but they are not always clean 'So,' she said 'I got you this' And pulled out of her bag a vibrator! She showed me how it works, told me it could go on my clit or inside me or even in my ass. She told me about keeping it scrupulously clean. She also told me that if I tried it inside me it might hurt. (MIGHT!....after I did it I swore I would never allow anything or anyone inside me again, ever. That lasted all of 24 hours. Then I learned that cumming aroung something is a whole different world, and MUCH better. NOW I had a penis substitute to go with my filthy mouth! YAY!
I continued like this until I was 17 when I had masturbated just about every way a girl can. Then I learned the joys of anal stimulation, only with a finger, although I did try larger things. I even discovered the joys of the shower head and (slighly ashamed) that I like peeing in my panties sometimes. I masturbated with friends, and even at mixed gender parties. (Ever had a group wank with boys beating off at the same time? It's fantastic, especially when one of the boys shoots off and the air is full of that metallic scent of sperm, now THAT can send a girl over real fast. Don't worry about pheremone sprays boys, just put a dab of your sperm on your neck or behind your ears. Does it for me every time. But after a while, it became that I wanted something new.
That is when I discovered outdoor masturbation and masturbation where I might be seen. The thrill of masturbating when a total stranger is looking at me is wonderful. I love it.
So now, I have a wide range of masturbatory practices that are every bit as satisfying to me as sex with a partner.
Fantasies? Oh, everything from a mysterious male stranger fucking my brains out in public, to sex with another girl (Done that at 15) I even have what some will call taboo fantasies like I have fantasized about my brother fucking me, and even my dad. It is fantasy, I would never do it in real life, but I think that because the fantasy is taboo, it works well for me from time to time.
Sometimes, I fantasize about what someone, who is watching me masturbate outdoors, is doing or might do later. Sometimes I like to go where there is a lot of sexual activity. There are car parks around here used, at night, for 'dogging'. I never go at night, but sometimes in the afternoon I will go.
Thanks for reading.