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End of the Road?

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: Jessica Age: 24 Posted on: 28 Sep 2010 0 comments
1 likes 775 views Category: Masturbation Female-Male Tags:

I think, in reallity, this should be F, FF, FFF, FM, FMM and any combination in between.
I am 24, literally, today! (Happy birthday me). I woke up this morning feeling wistful and very reflective, almost as if a turning point has been reached. I got up, made some coffee and came back to bed just to have a lie in and to think. My thoughts turned back to the first moment in my life when I knew, absolutely knew, that puberty had started for me. What gave it away in my case was not breast development, or even hair development. It was the discharge into my panties that had become a little heavier, thicker, and the moment I connected it with seeing something sexy on the TV. Of course, back then, 'something sexy' would be two people holding hands or kissing. I would feel something between my legs and when I got ready for bed, my panties would be moist and smelled musky. Then, came breast development, and in my case OUCH! My, they were sensitive and hurt like hell if knocked or hit. (My brother was a hitter!) My nipples were puffy for quite a while and there wasnt much behind them, but then, around 13, I settled into an A cup trainer bra and felt very grown up. My periods had started six months before my 13th birthday and I felt like a 'real' woman. The muskiness in my panties had given way to me touching myself a little and getting nice feelings, but also that 'something was coming.' so I usually stopped WAY before 'it' happened. I had heard horror stories about girls peeing themselves when they got their first orgasm and I didnt want THAT. THen, my best freind Emily and I had a sleepover. Oh, I wonder how many girls experience their first orgasm this way? Emily and I shared my double bed and this particular night we had been talking about boys, but also had been sitting on my bed naked. Something we had not done before..it just seemed okay that night. We got to bed and in the darkness Emily asked me if I ever had masturbated to orgasm. I told her that I was too scared. She said that she had been too, but her first orgasm was really great. Then I felt her hand on my leg. She wasnt trying to touch me, but it seemed natural to open my legs and her hand sort of drifted near my pussy. I put my hand on her hand and gave a small pull to indicate it was ok. Then Emily rubbed me to my first orgasm. It was beautiful. In fact we ended up crying in each other's arms it was so wonderful. I also made her cum, but it wasnt in any way erotic or raunchy, just beautiful innocence. Then came my first boy. Well, second in a way. I began to find my panties moved around at home. Then, one day, I caught my brother red handed in the bathroom smelling my used panties. He was obviously hard and was no doubt about to masturbate using ME. I remember staring at him and then leaving the bathroom and locking my bedroom door. I knew about my scent, and I knew he was in there smelling my pussy and jacking himself off. I felt really strong and powerful to be able to have that effect on someone. I must admit, as I lay there, I jilled off too. I was sorely tempted to go back to him and for a wild moment, I imagined fucking my own brother on the bathroom floor. In real life, we only ever did something sexual together twice and that was years later when I was 18 and he had been involved in an accident that put both his arms in plaster for six months. I jacked him off. Once in hospital and once at home. I talked really dirty to him both times and talked about him smelling my (and I used the bad word) cunt. But my first boy... I have to admit 'boy' is the wrong word. He was much MUCH older than me and I think in today's world he would be classed as an abuser. But then I pursued him and he did nothing to me that I didnt want or ask him to do. He made me cum lots, but what really made me feel powerful, oh, SO powerful was when I made him cum. Me! I made a man cum into my hand. I felt like I was queen of the world! I was just shy of my 15th birthday then. Emily and I were still having fun together, but now we both had boyfriends and had seen, smelled, (and tasted) sperm. Maybe there is some chemical in it, but almost as soon as I knew what sperm smelled and felt like, my erotic imagination woke up BIG time. It started with a desire to show my body. I would go topless on the beach. I would masturbate in the toilets at school, or even on the school bus. I used to do it in store changing rooms. I would frequently go to the mall with no panties on. So would Emily. We would even jill each other off in public rest rooms. And the language!!! We learned the art of talking dirty,,, REALLY dirty to each other. Masturbation for me was always a friend, but now I knew this friend had many different sides. I could come romantially, gently, softly, or violently, oh SOOO violently. Then came the day when my worst fear actually happened. I was sitting on the back right hand corner of the school bus, pretty much alone. There were only two others to be dropped off and the last five miles I would be on my own. I decided that I would jill off. I had been feeling really wet and randy all day so I hitched my skirt up out of the way, (fortunately, as it turned out) and spread my legs. In my mind, I was imagining the driver checking me out. I had imagined there were hidden cameras all over the bus and he was watching me jill. In my fantasy, he stopped the bus way out in the country and locked the door. He walked the length of the bus and screwed me on the back seat. I just got to he point where he came IN me, when my orgasm rocketed through me...and I peed my panties. The thing is, the thing I had dreaded for oh, SO long, felt magnificent! I loved the warmth, the wetness, and the, oh, I don't know, the naughtiness of it. I sat there for a few moments with my legs spread and looked down at my soaked panties. So, at 16, (just over) I learned the absolute pleasure of peeing as a sexual act. Over the next year, I used to do it on purpose. I learned to wait until I couldnt hold it any more and then to let it out so slowly that it hurt. Soon, I couldnt control it any more and came in a flood. Emily had also had a similar experience some 18 months before but hadn't told me. (Bitch!) We used to jill each other off in the shower and pee on each other too. Looking back, my journey so far has been experimentation of the best kind. I have had sex with myself, in a variety of places and with a huge range of fantasies, from being gently seduced, to being raped. (Funny how the rape fantasy seems to work for a lot of women. We would hate it in real life, but in fantasy, hmmmm.) I have had sex with other girls. (Emily and I went WAY beyond masturbation) I have had sex with boys, AND men. Now, as I said at the beginning, here, on my 24th birthday, I have a feeling that the experimentation is either over, or only just begun. I know, sitting here now, that I really find the build up to sex, the foreplay, the anticipation far more erotic than the act itself, and without doubt my most satsifying experiences have focussed on masturbation of either myself or others. I love jacking or jilling someone off. I am in complete control, and maybe that is the key for me. I love role play. Even though I am 24, I am not much further developed than when I was 14. I still fit my old school uniform, and I still wear it out too. Emily and I often pretend to be schoolgirls out for the day. This has led to some interesting experiences too. (One in a church!) So,, hmm 24. Why today, I wonder. Why do I feel that something is going to happen, something wonderful? I feel like I am at a junction in the road. I don't know why, but I felt I had to tell someone. Thanks for listening.