This is written with the full permission of my partner, Jayne. Oh, how I wish I had known about this site when I was younger.
I was never allowed to be sexual at home. My parents, much as I love them, are both members of a religious sect that seems to count everything apart from breathing as a sin. Even letting someone see you eat, putting something into your body, is forbidden. Naturally, periods were not periods in my house, they were 'The Sin Of Eve'.
My mother only once told me that it was my 'duty to lie with my husband whenever he commands. You may feel an overpowering feeling when he mounts you, if you do, you must confess it. It is a sin for a woman to enjoy sex.' (Some may call that abuse!) I grew up conforming to the rules, not to do so had consequences. However, it did not stop my growing up or being curious about the changes in my body and the feelings.
Because total separation from other people was the norm, my fingers were all I had, and I learned to use them, with my mind, to excellent effect. Schooling was done in a small group with a tutor paid for by our congregation and was very religiously based, heavy on the sin and damnation.
My nights, though, were ones of eroticism. Somehow, I knew things to fantasise about. I started thinking about how many times my mother had committed the 'sin' of enjoying sex. I pictured her laying on her back, legs apart as my dad fucked her to make me and my sisters.
Anyway, teenage years were masturbatory heaven for me. I learned to detest my parent's religious beliefs and I told them so. At 18, I was kicked out of the family home. It was the best thing that ever happened to me, because I came to Uni and met Jayne.
I think I have always known I was attracted to girls rather than boys but Jayne was my first, the first person I ever touched sexually, and the first person to touch me. I loved having my fingers inside her, and when she entered me, although it tore my hymen and hurt, it was a nice hurt.
Jayne and I live out my masturbatory fantasies. When jilling off is all you have ever done, and even that in a non-penetrative way, your mind adds the background, and I have an excellent mind.
I used to imagine jilling while being watched. (Done)
I used to imagine being 'forced' into cumming. (Done)
I used to imagine being peed on, peeing my panties, and peeing on someone else (Done, done, and done)
I used to imagine what sperm tastes like (Thanks to Jayne fucking her boyfriend during the early weeks of our relationship (DONE...salty...and kinky in a way.)
I used to imagine being tied up and blindfolded. (DONE)
Jayne is adventurous and taught me the joys of being finger fucked outdoors, on the sports field and even in the boys toilets. (The smell of testosterone and being in a forbidden place was amazing!) Jayne taught me to tease others and flirt, like the time we spent an evening with a girl who was definately bi curious but too shy to do anything. We let her watch us make out and Jayne fingered me to orgasm. As we left, I took my panties off and said she should use them to see if she liked the smell and taste of another girl.
Plans? Oh a threesome with another girl definitely, and, although I do not really think it's for me, I want to have a boy fuck me, just once so I can say I have done it. Jayne is all for it!
For some reason, Jayne tells me that sex between us is far wilder and (her words) more violent yet loving, than with a guy. Certainly I am desperate for her to do new things to me, I find I love being slapped, I love a little (ONLY a little pain).
Tomorrow is going to be a big day. I'm not sure what I can say here, but Jayne is going to have an 'intimate piercing', and I am going with her.
I feel like I want a tattoo, something very rude! I know they are there for life, so maybe I will go for something that won't look too ridiculous when I am 80!...then again....who's to say I will make it to 80... you only live once!
Well, last night, Jayne and I both shaved, me for the first time. We are going into town tomorrow for her piercing and I will check out the tattoo thing. We are going out with no panties on, and Jayne says she will flirt with the female piercer. Then (again, her words) she said I can 'finger fuck her brains out'.