In my original fantasy of what would happen, it would all be in front of a mirror. What I wanted was something very specific: For her to watch me, to watch my face as I looked into my own eyes, as I ejaculated into her palm, and then to drink my semen from her hand.
I began by masturbating while we were in mid-conversation, through my clothing. I did this for a while in a subtle way, dressed, then grew bold and did not hide it. Either she pretended not to notice, or did not. Finally I got up and got my dildo and some oil and sat down next to her and said, I want you to watch me do something. She said Okay.
I removed my long johns and, as she watched my face, I slowly fucked my own ass, sitting down onto a cock-shaped dildo that stood upright with a flat bottom. I explained to her how important it was that she look at my face, particularly in my moments of climax. But first I wanted to fuck my ass and I wanted her to look into my eyes as I did so.
I gradually slipped the cock in and out, feeling that beautiful deep inner splitting open and reaching, as my own cock got hard. I leaned back and asked her to fuck me. She did. At this point I was naked and pulled up my knees and wanted to be fucked like a girl. I asked again that she look at my face. This was very intimate, and it felt deeply pleasurable to be peeled back emotionally in this manner. I let her take a few good long strokes, encouraging her to push with feeling, as I exposed the expressions of my pleasure to her. She was reluctant, hesitating a little, but I encouraged her, and she fucked me.
She sucked my cock for a while. It felt really good. We talked about what it would be like for me to cum in her mouth and I asked her if she wanted that, and she did. But I didn't do that, as good as it would have felt, because I knew what I wanted and what I needed.
In my original fantasy of this scene I would be watching all of this in a mirror; I would see my own face, and she would see that. But as it happened, it was her eyes, not my own, that explored me, and I met her with the most emotionally honest expression I could reach in and call forth.
Then I told her. I said the words; I want to cum into your palm and drink myself. May I do that? She said yes. I could have, and would have loved to, drag out the fucking and tease my orgasm for an hour or two, but it seemed time to show her and let go and to give myself what I wanted without a delay. And so I sat up close into her and coated my hands with oil and fucked my ass deeply, sitting up with a straight back on the dildo, and then masturbated. Her hand was near the head of my cock and I positioned it so that when I let go her hand would be there.
I held her gaze. She held mine. When a man ejaculates the temptation is always to look, but I needed her eyes on my face in a deep and desperate way. I wanted my eyes and face to be studied and exposed in my moment of most vulnerable pleasure. The moment came. Orgasm was deep and authentic and my ejaculation came from a very deep place inside me. My core wrapped around the cock that was fucking my ass, which pushed the semen out of my pelvis with longer, stronger pulses. I allowed myself the full enjoyment of my face being seen in such a state, and felt the semen collect gently in her palm.
I raised her hand to my mouth, reached in with my lips, and sobbed.
And I took the semen in to my mouth, my own semen, and filled my mouth and wet my tongue and looked at her again, my face wet, and opened my mouth a little so she could see.
Then I closed my eyes and swallowed.