Crazy Things My Ex-wife Used To Do

Posted by: Author: Age: We were in our 30s Posted on: 0 comments
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Even when our sex life waned, we had some of the hottest masturbation sessions ever.


My ex-wife always had a streak in her that liked to feel naughty. At some point in our marraige she decided that she liked the 'tease and release' that came with mutual masturbation without the mess that came with the actual exchange of bodily fluids. It was during these years that she started doing naughty things while I was away, then telling me about them to turn me on. Toward the end of our marriage she was doing it to spite me, telling me in the mornings when I woke up how she had masturbated next to me while I slept, with her leg thrown over me, and how if I 'had only woken up' I could have had sex with her. If only!

I prefer to not think of those darker times but I still remember all the times it was still fun. It started up when I used to go away for work related trips. She used to masturbate while I was away then tell me how she got herself off while I was gone. I remember one time after I had been gone for a week she told me what a hot session she had the night before in anticipation of my return. Since I had expected her to use some odd impliment to get herself off I asked her, quite bluntly, since it matched her naughty mood, 'What did you stick in your pussy to make yourself cum?' I remember still to this day how floored I was when she replied, 'Who said I stuck it in my pussy?' Ahhh yes. My wife was a three-entry girl and thoroughly enjoyed oral, vaginal and anal in her solo sessions as well. Needless to say we didn't masturbate after that. I dragged her to the bedroom and made use of her the same way she did herself while I was away... but that's not for here.

But you wonder... 'odd impliments? How odd?' Ha ha ha! Well my wife was a creative one. Probably the first things she used were felt-tip pens, the fat kind that are rounded on both ends. The place we worked supplied them to us, but I don't think they expected us to take them home so I could jerk off while my wife sucked them nice and wet then stuck them into her ass and pussy. How happy we were when we were in an office supply store one day and we found they made a jumbo size marker in that same style! My wife had it in her ass as soon as we got home!

But really, pens aren't so strange are they? We were outdoor enthusiasts and we used to go to outdoor expos, and cutlery shows and the like. My wife purchased a couple of handmade vintage knives (she loved anything vintage that had style and class). I only found out much later that she regularly used the leather scabbard of one knife to cum with (I guess she liked the smooth texture of old leather) and the curved handle of the other the same way! She admitted that it was the curve of that handle that made her think of cock and when she bought the knife her number one priority was to get it home and in her pussy! Just the thought of my wife with a knife handle up inside her and the blade sticking down between her legs was not only incredibly bizzare but also incredibly hard-on inducing!

Another thing my wife had a passion for was stilleto heels. She must have owned 30 or 40 different pairs. One pair she owned was not quite a pump and not quite a boot. They were white and cut like a pump but came up the back of the ankle with 3 or 4 straps around the ankle. Almost boot-like in appearance from the back, but like an ankle-strap pump on steroids from the front. They also happened to be one of the first pair I ever bought her before we were married and they were the ones she wore the first time we stole away to a motel for a night of wild sex. Not surprisingly, they were the first shoes she ever masturbated with. Again, when I was gone on a trip I returned to have her tell me (and demonstrate) how she used the back of them and their tall, extended ankle portion to rub up and down on her pussy until she came.

In time she used those same shoes but put her fingers down in the toes and rubbed the top of the toe portion on her clit to get herself off. She did this with other pairs as well, but I only ever got the secondhand retelling or the reenactment. Her exploration was always when she was alone. I was able to change that though.

I had always wanted to see her heelfuck, but she said the heels of her shoes were too dirty for that (because she did actually wear them, not just masturbate with them). One day, I blindfolded her and told her we were going to do naughty things. I told her to wait on the bed while I made some preparations. I then went and got her new pair of black high heeled Oxfords, so new she had only tried them on once. With some soap and warm water I made sure they were clean. I think she knew what I was up to, but she didn't protest when I slipped the four inch heel into her wet, waiting vagina. It wasn't hard to get the angle right, especially since a shoe heel is much smaller in diameter than even the smallest sex toy. Soon she was fucking herself with the shoe in one hand while the other danced at her clit. Watching her cum on her shiny patent black Oxfords made me cum as hard as she did.

But it gets even crazier. I assure you it is true. One time we were role playing 'cop and interrogated suspect'. She was blindfolded again and had her hands handcuffed in front of her this time. During the course of our 'interrogation' I took my big 10mm Auto handgun (thoroughly cleaned and with no ammo in it of course) and inserted it into her always wet, always ready vagina. Her initial gasp of recognition at the cold steel sliding into her was amazing. It didn't take long before she was working it in and out with her two handcuffed hands. The butt of the gun was facing up and she was pushing it in until the triggerguard was rubbing against her clit. She came so hard doing that and I stood next to the bed and blew hot cum all over her.

Even though she had the usual array of sex toys (anal beads of various sizes, dildos, devices for double penetrating herself, etc.) the toys seemed pretty bland compared to all the other naughty things she did. Probably the only 'normal' thing she ever did that turned me on so much was when she dressed up in her full-blown schoolgirl outfit (hair in pitails, plaid skirt, lacy white turn-down socks, and high heeled patent Mary Jane shoes) and fucked herself with her biggest toy. It was a foot long, jet black and had a handle with a crossguard. It looked more like a small sword than a dildo. Fuck, it was huge. There was no way she could even take half of that thick thing inside her, but seeing her as a schoolgirl, taking her 'first' big cock, seeing her stretched like it was her first time... yeah, that always worked for me. Watching her cum with that big thing inside her was always so amazing. I loved to cum on her face while she was getting so filled up. Like she was getting used by more than one schoolboy at once. Hot stuff.

It's too bad she turned into such an evil bitch. (Believe me, she really did.) I tried to make it work, but she found a dirty, skeevy dude to hang out with and there was no going back. I didn't want to catch whatever she might bring home.

But years later, I still remember some of the hottest masturbation ever! I guess I can thank her for that.



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