Hopefully this is the first of several sections.
A number of years ago I began writing an autobiography in which I wanted to point out the significant impact that sexual matters have made on my life. I have also developed rather strong feelings about the way our society mishandles sexual education to the disadvantage of lots of fine teen-age boys and girls.
From my early childhood, sex has been a very powerful attraction to me and has had a significant effect on my life and some of my personal values. My first experience with sexual feelings came at a very early age, and I can remember it quite clearly. As a kid around the age of 6 or so, while climbing a tree, I was pulling myself up the trunk of the tree with my arms and legs when all of a sudden I felt a terrific sensation welling up inside me, centered somewhere in the pit of my stomach. It was an indescribably fantastic sensation that left me feeling extremely weak. I couldn't move but the great feeling in my body was hard to describe. The sensation was so strong within my body that I could no longer pull myself up the tree trunk and I had to hang on tightly with my arms and legs until the sensation became less intense. In today's lingo, 'It was a real high.'
As I slid down the tree trunk I was determined to try again for that feeling. There were times when I could repeat the effect and enjoy the feeling, but never as often as I wanted to and seldom when I wanted it to happen. I asked my parents if they could explain to me how to repeat this type of event. I don't remember the exact answer they gave me but it was vague and of no value to my efforts.
I came to understand a few years later that what I had experienced was an orgasm. But at the time it happened I know only that it was such a powerful feeling that it caused my legs and arms to become very weak and I had to cling very hard to the trunk of the tree to keep from falling. I remembered that it was such a wonderful sensation that during the following days and weeks I would try very hard to make it happen again by climbing up the tree. Occasionally I was able to make it happen, but most of the time I could not control completely just when this exotic sensation would once again overcome my body.
The tree-climbing experience faded from my memory after a time, and the subject of sex was only a casual curiosity for me. I heard a lot of discussion about sex from being around older kids every now and then. But the next time that sex was brought forcefully to my attention was when I was about 11 years of age.
An older boy, Bill, a friend of mine who was about 15 or 16 invited me to go for a walk into a cornfield. It was in the late summertime and the tall corn stalks surrounded us with total privacy. During our walk his conversation began to turn in the direction of discussions of various aspects of my body such as my weight, my height, my waist size and other similar innocent topics.
Then he began to ask me questions about my cock and my balls. How long was it? How large were my nuts? I became very embarrassed because my cock was extremely tiny and he kept asking me to let him have a look at it. He unbuttoned his trousers and showed me his cock, which even soft looked mighty large to me.. Finally I gave in to his suggestion and agreed to take off my pants and underwear. As I began to take them off he did the same with his own clothes.
For reasons that I didn't quite understand my little prick was by this time hard as a rock. Inside my tummy there was a hard knot, and my heart was beating at a fast rate All the time I was undressing I had a hard time taking my eyes off my friend's huge cock as he milked the foreskin slowly back and forth. I can't remember whether or not he was circumcised, and at that time I wasn't even aware of the word or what it meant.
Bill, my friend and seducer, laughed a little bit upon seeing that small hard prick of mine. Then in order to reduce my embarrassment he told me not to worry. He pointed to his own hard throbbing cock and told me that mine would be that large size or even larger in just a few years. That was great news for me since that look of his large erect cock pleased and excited me very much.
Then he placed his fingers and thumb around my throbbing cock as if he were holding a cigarette and he asked me if I enjoyed jacking off. I told him truthfully that I didn't know what he meant, so he said he would show me.
He picked up our clothes, took me by the hand and walked me over to sit down upon our clothes which he had spread out on the grass just at the edge of the back side of the corn rows. As he sat down beside me he gently pushed me down on my back. He then reached over and using his first finger and his thumb began to play with me. Each time he gently squeezed my little penis it would throb ever harder and I could feel waves of tension skittering through my whole body. He did several things with his fingers - rubbing my tummy and tickling my ribs. Eventually he began to jerk my cock up and down as the loose skin slid back and forth across the top half of the uncircumcised organ. With his other hand he began pumping the foreskin up and down on his huge, rigid cock and told me he was jacking us off together. This was quite a sight for me to watch. I had not ever seen a large, hard cock such as I was now seeing, and I certainly hadn't any idea how the process of jacking off really took place.
For modest, shy, naked little 11-year old me this was a very scary but a powerfully exciting experience. My heart was pounding very hard and my breathing was somewhat irregular and heavy. I could feel my muscles in my legs and in my stomach area begin to tighten up. As Bill continued to pump I started to feel the same sensation that I remembered from the tree climbing experienced several years before.
I began to feel the approaching orgasm, and the sensation was so intense that I wasn't sure that I liked it. Also when my 'sex teacher' saw and felt that I was beginning to climax, he jerked all the faster up and down on my cock. The sensation that I was feeling was getting so intense that I wanted him to stop. I remember grabbing his arm and holding it tight to get him to stop jerking on me. I was experiencing a very intense combination of pleasure and of pain.
At the same time he was getting his kicks by continuing to jerk harder and harder on my cock with one hand and at the same time finishing himself off with his other hand. Bill then began to groan and his cock squirted several shots of white stuff up into the air and down onto his belly and legs. I was fascinated by the sight as he leaned forward and the jerking of my cock and of his cock began to slow down and finally stop. The combination of my guilt and my embarrassment overcame the good feelings, and I began to think of the past hour or so with Bill as a sort of interesting but bad experience. Bill explained to me that the white stuff was where babies came from. He called it 'cum.'
To make things worse later that day my cock, already somewhat sore and bruised, began to swell up from the squeezing that the virgin skin had experienced caused by the violent jerking that Bill had administered. My swollen cock frightened me almost into a panic. I had never seen it like this before and my frightened thinking made me fearful that it would never be the same again. For that day and the next I was going around simply petrified with fear, and of course I didn't dare talk to anyone. To my great relief the swelling slowly but finally went down and my cock returned to its normal dimensions.
After some time had passed, I began to forget the bad part of the sexual awakening that my older friend had showed me. I began remembering more about the excitement I had felt and the orgasm that I experienced. My tiny cock got hard quite often-when I was in bed at night, when I woke up in the morning, and several times each day.
Finally after a period of a few months I got up the nerve to try jacking myself off like my friend had taught me. I wanted to see what would happen. I took off my trousers and underwear after I had climbed into the hayloft where I would be undisturbed. Grasping my small, hard cock with my thumb and finger, I began to slide the loose skin up and down on the cock shaft. I was delighted with the results. This time I really liked the feeling of ecstasy that swept through my body, and finally as I continued jerking, the tremendous impact of the great orgasm that I had. As my body soon relaxed I was also pleased and relieved to discover that my little cock didn't swell up and get sore anymore like it did the first time.
So that was the beginning of my active sex life. I learned to love jacking off, and I did it several times each day as I grew older. Many times during the hot summer days when I would wander around the farm I would try to see how many times in one day I could jack off. I would lie in the barn on the hay and jerk myself off time after time It would not be unusual for me to jerk myself off five, six, maybe sometimes as often as ten times per day.
Of course I certainly felt some guilt about doing it so often, since I began to hear from older boys talking all about what would happen to little boys who jacked off. 'Hair would grow on the palms of your hands.' or 'You would go crazy if you did it too much.' These and other scary stories abounded. Little did I know then what I found out in later years; that all boys jacked themselves off in private, and at the same time took great pleasure in scaring the younger kids with the 'horrors' of jacking off. And I found out that I didn't talk about my jacking off to anyone but my closest buddies. Even then, once in a while, a 'buddy' would snitch to some other guy who would then mercilessly tease me and make embarrassing comments at the wrong time.
But the temptation of creating that terrific sensation was too much to deny so again and again I would beat my meat and stiffen up all over as the terrific sensation of cumming would once again overtake my whole body.
I had lots of childhood friends and relatives and our families very often got together for summer picnics and other types of family get-togethers. Many times when we did, the kids of my age would have a chance to get together with older kids, teenagers who would enjoy telling 'dirty' stories to each other. I enjoyed them tremendously and remembered with great pleasure those great get-togethers. I was learning a lot of street sex from these experiences and was also discovering that some of my cousins were probably engaging in some sexual activities themselves. There were always stories.
At the age of thirteen I started my freshman year in high school and my cock was still very, very tiny, and there was absolutely no hair growing anywhere around my groin. And yet that little cock of mine was very sturdy and was a source of great pleasure to me when I was alone and playing with myself. So the experience of going to gym classes, which the freshmen and upper class were in together twice a week was for me both frightening and exciting. First of all, I began to get a chance to see other high school kids, mostly those in the upper classes, as they undressed for gym class in the locker room and as they walked back and forth to the showers wearing a towel around their waist, or more often, draped over their shoulder.
Even some of the boys in my own freshman class were developing more mature torsos. I was fascinated to see the changes that were taking place in those young, male bodies, and I often wondered whether or not these other kids jacked themselves off in private like I did. Of course they did as I learned in later years, but somehow at this time I thought I was 'different' because of my great liking for getting it off.
I was acutely aware of those cocks that were getting longer and heavier looking. Many of the kids had balls that were bigger and hung lower, and hair was beginning to grow in the crotch areas of the more developed kids. I was excited. I couldn't wait until these nice things began happening to my body. As I was to find out, my body wasn't going to develop like that for some time yet, and until then, I suffered untold agony, longing, and inferiority because of my tiny cock and balls. However, I was continually horny, and I jacked off regularly and frequently. One neighbor boy and I became good friends and we finally revealed to each other as our friendship developed that we both had jacked ourselves off.
After that exchange of secrets with each other we began to develop mutual curiosity about each other, our bodies, and our sexual organs. We would go out into our farm woods in the summer and take off our clothes to swim and play in the creek and to examine each other. He was developing, his cock and balls were larger and hair was growing around them. We would get hard-ons together and would watch each other as we jacked off. When I first saw him shoot cum I was consumed with fascination and jealousy. When he came his cock would shoot his cum several feet into the air. I loved to watch him and I longed for the day when I would start developing these virile, manly characteristics.
My preoccupation with sex and with the bodily development of my male classmates led to several interesting things. I began to be fascinated with jock straps, that item of sportswear which was designed specifically to hold and protect those exciting parts of the male body. I also got sexually excited whenever I went to the locker room to dress for gym classes. I took as long a look at every boy's body that I could without being caught at it. It was always a great turn-on to watch the kids walk around the locker room in their beautiful jock straps. I always felt that I could stare at them much more openly than when they walked around naked. Yet I also loved the great view as those naked bodies moved about in the room.
And the shower room!! What a great place. Everybody laughing and joking as they all seemed to be soaping their cocks and their balls. I enjoyed it as the bolder and bigger kids joked about each other's endowment and would often laugh and snap towels at each other. No one ever joked with me about my small equipment except one bully type who looked at me in the shower one day, 'God, kid, where did you get all your cock?' I could have dropped through the floor in embarrassment as the laughter bounced around the shower room and I could do nothing but stand there while everybody's attention was fixed on my one-inch of pencil-thick endowment with the peanut-sized nut sack tightly positioned underneath. Yet I could not resist being down in the locker room at every chance to marvel at all those young bodies with their lovely looking cock, balls, and pubic hair. I also almost always had the desire to jack off when in the locker room or in the shower.
I loved to be in the shower to look at the other kids-but I also liked to be in the shower alone-then I could soap up my cock, get a good hard-on and jack off again. With the thumb and first two fingers of my right hand I could jerk up and down on my rock-hard little cock until I came; For me it didn't take long, and in the shower room I could complete a quick jack-off job in about thirty seconds, More than once I had to turn my back and stop my masturbating when other kinds would come into the shower room, and a few times I got caught. That was sort of exciting, too, although the embarrassment of the other kids laughing at me sort of wiped out most of the feelings of excitement.
I was also embarrassed because of the fact that I was not circumcised, whereas most of the other boys were. Since my foreskin covered my penis head and ended up in sort of a downward hanging point, the whole effect was that of a Cupid's penis often seen on valentines and other types of greeting cards. Most other fellows had a head showing clearly on the end of their penises, and that plus the increasing size of their cocks as they were maturing into young men, made me feel inferior indeed; The only advantage I had, which was of minor satisfaction, was that my hard-ons, which I had quite regularly in the locker room, were easily concealed in the spacious pouch of my jock strap.
This is my story up to puberty. You see the title at the top of this chapter and you will recognize the title of the next chapter when I submit it in the not-too-distant future.
I am now a retired and widowed senior citizen, military veteran, and a father of three great children. I have had a successful career and now lead an active life, still engaging in and enjoying a number of different sexual activities with others and by myself. This web page allows me to relate my experiences and possibly make other contributions along the way..