Like many others, I can't imagine a time when I didn't masturbate. I remember when I was about 6 yrs old, we, me and my sister had a friend over, and we were in my sister's room, and our friend randomly picked up a crayon, and started touching herself with the crayon. Soon, my mother walked in and I think sent the girl home. My parents were really upset for some reason, I can't imagine why! This didn't stop from ever finding ways to please myself.
I remember when I was about 7, and my sister and I got dressed up in my mother's bras, and we were watching the movie Body Heat and I started masturbating. My mother came in the room and my sister was right next to me. No one said anything and it didn't end in orgasm anyways. I just remember being so hot with me and my sister wearing my mother's bras. The material was all satiny and I'd imagined what it would be like to have a body that would need a bra. It was fascinating. Sometimes from watching soap operas, I'd get turned on, but I never perfected my techniques until rather recently. I'd been assaulted by my father and other men in my life which prevented me from enjoying the thrill of masturbation. For a while, I kept thinking it was the 'job' of my lover to get me off. Then I realized NO! It's MY JOB!!
So last summer I bought a vibrator which has brought me MUCH pleasure. It gets kind of loud so I don't want people to hear it, so I usually put on some music, but I'm not sure that that disguises the sound either. Before I bought my vibrator, I'd orgasm through clitoral stimulation. I still do that now, but by reading this site, I'm getting more and more ideas.
Now, my biggest fantasy is to have a lover who will masturbate with me. We'd watch each other, the fantasies are really something! Recently someone just emailed me about something I'd posted on the internet about this. I got so turned on thinking someone would do that with me. It's weird to meet people over the internet esp. about something as personal as jilling off, but who knows where it would lead!
Other ways I pleasure myself is by reading erotica, or something from the internet. I focus on the physical sensations. I had a lover a while ago where we didn't communicate too much, but we'd end up in his bedroom, and one thing sort of led to another. I remember the first time we were together, this was about 7 yrs ago. We were on a trip in high school. We were alone in his hotel room. I was lying in his bed, and soon he got under the covers with me. He started touching me very softly. Then he pulled down my pants and started, really gingerly stroking the outside of my pussy. His hand was shaking! This still turns me on when I think about it. It got me so excited having him do that but he was still really in control which was really sexy. Then he pulled down his pants to show me his huge dick. I wanted to please him, but didn't know enough to ask. Unfortunately this didn't end in orgasm, but I think about it sometimes still when I'm pleasing myself.
Before this, I had another boyfriend, who once we were over a house of a friend's of his and we'd been drinking which made me do things I wouldn't have ordinarily done. We were on his bed, and as I remember it, he was a really bad kisser, so I'd have him feel my tits instead. Soon I got on top of him and we'd start dry humping. I had my shirt off. When he took it off, he said YES! which made me so comfortable with my body. When I was on top of him, he put his hands down the back of my pants he said You're so squishy. HE really seemed to like what we were doing.. He was the first person I'd had an orgasm with. We dry fucked like all afternoon. Soon my mother called and I had to go home. I wonder what we'd do if she hadn't called. I've always had a problem with pleasing others, but now I know how!
I remember the first orgasms I'd HAD when I was a teenager, I'd be sitting doing my homework and I'd start grinding my pussy with my legs crossed, I'd try to concentrate on what I was reading ,but I loved it when orgasm would literally pull me away from that concentration. I loved doing my homework because of that reason. I was a n athlete when I was younger which made me have even better orgasms, just feeling SO GOOD afterwards. Sometimes I'd even masturbate in school, I never thought anyone would notice, but then I'd realized a couple of kids did, so I'd get a pass to got the bathroom from now on. The times when I did masturbate in school, I so wanted to arch my back and let my whole body revel in the pleasure, but I had to contain it. I hated this! Sometimes, I'm in college now, I find a secluded desk in the library and do the exact same thing I did in the 8th grade, and I love the fact I can still get away with it in a private place!
So I'm really looking forward to finding a lover who can do this with me. I'm looking forward to being more and more in control of my sexuality.
HOW I do it With My VIBRATOR:
I get some Slippery Stuff lubricant and start massaging my little clit and my whole pussy. Sometimes I get a mirror to look at my pussy while I'm doing this. How it looks just turns me on. I keep doing this, until I want my vibrator penetrating me. I get that ready, put tons of lube on it, and start teasing my pussy, I get even more turned on, and I turn on the vibrator at about full speed. It has a clit massager, so I work that and it feels like its massaging my entire cunt, like everything, it is so powerful. Soon I sit up on the edge of my bed and position it so that its right up against my clit. I usually cross my legs and start humping trying to make myself cum. It feels so good to be in control, to know I can do this for myself. That's orgasmic just in itself. My vibrator is all the way inside me, fucking away. My hips are grinding away. Yeah, just fucking away, its all slippery because of the lube and I'm just humping away on the edge of my bed. I put my butt plug up my butt and I come, feeling like I'm flying, arching my back and I fantasize that someone's watching me. Oh yes! I stop and wait for the next time. I usually go about once a day.