Just a day after I submitted 'At It Again,' John's story about his 'anal awakening' at age 22 made me feel like writing about my awakening and how it went from there. Perhaps it touches a chord in anyone, male or female, who is so inclined.
I am not sure whether anal fascination started before my first enemas or not, but I tie it to those awful, humiliating, uncomfortable...and yet somehow exciting experiences.
When the doctor first told my mom that I needed an enema, I was taken into the bathroom where my mom sat on the edge of the bathtub with a towel over her lap. Next to her on the sink was a jar of Vaseline and a little red bulb syringe with a black nozzle. I watched as she smeared the nozzle with Vaseline and told me to take off my underpants. I was scared, and probably a bit intrigued. I had already started playing with my penis and knew it was a source of pleasure. I loved the idea of having my penis and ass naked, but not around my mom or under these circumstances, of course. One time I fought so hard that she lost her balance and fell into the bathtub. My father had to be called to help her give it to me. I got a spank on my bare ass to calm my hysteria.
I associate those enemas with a pleasant feeling of the nozzle going into my ass and a little tingle in my penis, then awful pain in my stomach as the water filled me, and the humiliating, uncontrollable gush of it all coming out of me. Then relief.
The enema bulb and nozzle had become an object of fascination. I would sneak into the bathroom and open the medicine cabinet just to have a look at it. I would walk around the house so tempted to have it in me. Craving it. If I thought I could get away with it, I'd go into the bathroom, close the door, smear the nozzle and my ass with Vaseline, and stick it in me for just a few seconds (to keep from getting caught). I loved the feeling of excitement in my dick and the hard-on that went with it.
I was fully hooked on anal fascination. I definitely had a love-hate relationship with enemas. If I was sick and heard my mom on the phone with the doctor, I would dread and desire the instruction to give me an enema. I so wanted that thing up me and the first sensations of the warm water flowing in, but so did NOT want what came after. It was also getting more embarrassing to be seen naked.
I remember some early masturbation sessions in the bathroom as a 13-year-old. On a 'normal' day, or if I was not home alone, I would just go in and use the Vaseline (a fetish in its own right) to play with myself and try to come. On extra-horny days when I was home alone, I would go searching for my mom's douche bag, absolutely CRAVING the feeling of that longer nozzle in me. Sometimes, repeating my little-boy behavior, I would just go in and stick it in me, just to feel that feeling.
A few times I filled it with warm water and then laid on the floor humping the fluffy rug while water went into me. I had to time my buildup so that I could enjoy the sensations and come before the bad part. After that, it was the messy business of having it all come out of me and the meticulous cleanup. (Sometimes wondering if it was worth all that.) But then I would feel good, relieved in all possible ways.
I would also masturbate pretending I was being given the enema. I would stand there in my undies with hard-on tenting them out and fantasize the process of being told to take them off and lay over. OMG, the thought of having to expose my bare, hard dick was SO scary-exciting. Knowing I wanted it secretly, but would have to be talked into it. I would fantasize all the way through that scene, looking at the nozzle and the Vaseline, then either beat off with just the fantasy or while actually sticking it in me.
I liked laying over the toilet seat, feeling the sensations of my hard dick against the furry pink cover, then sticking the nozzle in my ass and releasing the clip to let the warm water come in, fantasizing that I was laying over someone's lap and having it given to me.
More to come.