Being Honest With Yourself
Masturbation is something I love to do but I hate the word. So harsh almost like describing a medical condition. Ditto with jerking off which sounds like adolescent boys giggling about seeing Susie's underwear. "Self-loving" captures the spirit and essence of my masturbatory sessions. Masturbating has been a daily experience for me since I can remember and I'm a better person and lover for it. Pundits don't understand the power inherent in our sexuality the power for healing and growth. Masturbation is the doorway to my deepest self, the place where dreams and fantasies and my wonderful imagination takes me. If this is wrong, why does it feel so good and have so many benefits?
My specific memories are hazy as to my earliest experiences with my penis. I do vividly remember the day in pre-school when I spent all of my recess's laying prone watching the kids play while my crotch rubbed wonderfully against the hard surface below me. My little hands wiggling over my hardened penis bringing the delicious heat and energy into my groin and diffusing throughout my body. Orgasm has rarely been my ultimate goal with self-loving as I know it's always there just waiting to be taken out and savored. My Mother was understanding and never chastised me for "playing with myself" only to let me know it's something done in private (at least as a child!). Like other adolescent boy's I spent hours pouring over old used copies of Playboy stolen from some Dad's private stash. Why does this have to be the rule rather than the exception? It's the enlightened woman who encourages her lover to fantasize and use masturbation as a learning tool to become the lover she wants. Prostitution would be an "endangered species" if lovers could openly and without judgement share their most private and erotic fantasies. That's what masturbation does for me: allows me to tap into my primal sexual animal energy and experience fantasies from the mundane to the truly exotic.
Through the stories on the net and non-fiction works I've gained the courage to come out of the closet with self-loving. We need more websites like SOLO to spread the word about this wonderful pastime. I refuse to feel anything but pleasure and happiness with my current masturbation habits. I love spending the day infused with the heat and sexual tension as a result of my prolonged sessions. Morning masturbation feels so good but I rarely come and when I do it's very limited. I'll spend a 1/2 hr. stroking my Vaseline covered cock until the head is purple and throbbing and then stop and begin my daily activity. I'll do chores and other "responsible" stuff and then return to my erotic play. I love to read women's masturbatory accounts and or watch pornography, I love watching beautiful people fucking! I use several toys from my "fleshlight" ( the single greatest masturbation aid ever invented!) to an array of anal toys as well as nipple clamps. Masturbation has unleashed the "slut" in me: the feminine, submissive side that enjoys being fucked and dominated by a beautiful mistress. I can play many different roles and experience an incredible array of feelings. I love intercourse with a lover but my orgasms are much more intense with masturbation. I rarely get to share the full intensity of my fantasies with a lover b/c of the unselfish nature of sexual intercourse : bringing pleasure to another. Whereas masturbation is totally about me and what I find exciting without the judgement of my lover. By becoming more knowledgeable about what is exciting and pleasurable for me I can share that with my lover. Since when is an activity that is instructional about a persons needs, a bad thing?
I hope that by reading about my "self-loving" it will encourage others (especially women) to be honest with themselves and their lovers as to what they do and think about in their most intimate moments. Masturbation is a gift from God. -- Stephen (