This is not the hottest story, but if the pills don't work, it may be a boost.
If your sex drive has driven off have your free testosterone checked.
I was in a car accident a few years back. My pelvis was crushed; needless to say I was not interested in anything sexual for quite a while. My wife who was is 30 something is at the other end of the sexual spectrum. We had been active 3-5 times a week, and when the kids went to the grandparents on Saturday and we would frequently spend at least four hours in bed. I spent 6 weeks in the hospital. I’ll never easily go through security again.
My man parts were black and blue for weeks and my balls are still very tender two years later, but mechanically I’m all there. Early on they were talking about taking my balls, we were working for a larger family, but the doctors were not very optimistic. There were three operations just addressing blood flow and when all was done the surgeon was very optimistic the blood flow to my groin had been fully addressed. Luckily nerve damage was not an issue. I was told I should be happy about that, because it meant the pathways for pain I was feeling early on, eventually could allow me to feel pleasure again. Unfortunately Sperm production had virtually stopped, and active swimmers in the leaking mucosal serum were nil. My wife thought that through physical therapy and time the situation might improve, but it had not.
Our sex life had fallen off. I tried every drug out there for ED to no result. I would accommodate her and even initiate play time, to make sure she was satisfied, we leaned heavily on Toys. She initially would allow me to take her to three or four orgasms like was our custom, but after a while she felt self conscious about having orgasms with me, when I could not. She would masturbate me sometimes for extended periods with no climax. My urologist suggested prostate massage to alleviate mucosal serum leakage and reduce the chance of prostrate problems. My wife got quite good at that, and I would get an erection but never orgasm or ejaculate as such, and as soon as we tried penetration sex I would go soft. Prostate massage did relieve other issues I was having, but it was more therapy, then sexual, and I did not look forward to it.
My wife took to masturbating on her own, it was stressing our marriage. I was considering bringing in a sex surrogate, but the guys that were available did not meet her approval. They were so hot; I think she was afraid she would loose her feelings for me. I was really depressed. She would not allow me to satisfy her except prior to my prostrate massages, and only to one orgasm. When she masturbated me it was all very mechanical.
As I said I knew she was masturbating herself, I would arrive home to find the bed mussed and toys not exactly where they had been left. Actually I suspected her of an affair and I set up a video to catch her in the act, I’m not sure what I was going to do with it, a sexual surrogate was my suggestion. As it turned out she would grind two or three out in the afternoon when she picked the kids up form the sitters. They would nap and she would go at it. If there was a simple dinner, it was a sure sign she has been working up lather with her toys. The videos were not hot, in the canned porno kind of way. Not a lot of screaming and moaning but to one that had become attuned to her Good Ones, it was clear she was not going without, I was just not involved. It was clear she was giving herself release, which she used to have, with me. I initially I would masturbate to them and did get sorta hard but never came. Eventually it was too painful watching her have the release, she used to reserve for our time together.
After we had run the gambit of ED drugs my GP thought to test my testosterone. Despite the surgeon’s insistence that everything was fixed, I had virtually no free testosterone. My GP did a bunch of other tests to try to determine the route cause, but it boiled down the trauma I had received in the accident. He started me on hormone replacement therapy. At first I did not think It would do anything, I was shedding some of the beer belly I had acquired since the accident, and my wife was turned on buy that, but other than that it was a non-event, Then all of the sudden 3-4 weeks in I started getting incredibly turned on. I would wake with a hard on. Something that never happened since the accident, my wife is not a morning lover, but she was so jazzed by the turn around that she made sure to try to satisfy me with masturbation. I'll never forget my first orgasm from that. The contractions were so strong that I nearly passed out. My wife licked my abdomen clean, I told her that was the hottest thing she had ever done. Then she leaned in and gave me a wet semen soaked kiss. Then proceeded to mount my chin and grind out her first orgasm with me in over a month on my nose and mouth.
After that, the benefits just kept on cumming. I could work all day and was ready to go again each night. My wife said it was like she was having an affair because I was a different man. For the first time in years, I slept like a baby. The only down side was I started getting acne again, though topical scrubs made that manageable. It was like a second puberty, except I had a, more than willing, sex starved partner.
In my last Dr. visit, he checked my free testosterone it was in the normal range for a guy my age, he attributed the surge to the novelty, he offered change to a gel but he said the dose is more for men in their 50s who typically have less free testosterone not zero like me.
HRT for young men is not well studied but, I can tell you it has saved our marriage and maybe even my life. Occasionally I masturbate on my own, when the opportunity presents and I always use the videos of my wife as inspiration. She knows now that they exist, but not the real reason I started filming our bed. She and the kids are the world to me. We are expecting our third child this winter. Any doubts about my wife are long since resolved. Her GYN says only that persistence pays off. We have in fact been persistent.