This happened when I was a teen... Kindly refer to 'Aunt Architect' (January 2007) for the context. This is the guilty part of it...
After last night's incident, I woke up my usual time and found out that Auntie got up ahead of me. It was so unusual because I normally wake up much earlier than her. She would wake up when I am already set for school. But after last night, she must have gotten out of bed an hour before I did.
She slipped a note near the bedside table saying 'I go ahead today. See you for the walking and jogging, the usual!'
The thought of last night's event could not be easily taken off my mind. After so many years, a fantasy was realized. And more. More than what has been imagined, by my little mind.
The day went well in school. When it was almost time to go home, my heart pounded a lot again with the thoughts of my Aunt and me last night. I felt intense heat at the back of my ears, my lips were starting to dry up, and my knees were becoming weak. My hands were sweating and trembling... I thought that maybe I was excited to see my Aunt after class, or maybe that I was missing my Aunt, or maybe I didn't know how to deal with my Aunt, her reaction, my reactions, etc. I felt my stomach turning upside down that I didn't feel any craving to eat lunch and even the afternoon snacks. One thing was sure, I felt too nervous because I didn't know how to face my Aunt.
On my very limited perspective, I was thinking that I should have not done that to my Aunt-and that I was shocked how things happened last night; so spontaneous and uninhibited. I had always fantasized about my Aunt, but now that things happened, I didn't know exactly how she would treat me afterwards. She got out of bed this morning earlier than usual. And I didn't know the reason why. Was she mad at me? Would she be more inhibited now? Those two questions lingered in my mind and I dreaded when she would put some distance between us from then on. Thus, at that point, I regretted having done what happened last night. And I feel sad.
I reached home only a minute ahead of my Aunt. I was still putting down my stuff when she came in the door. We simply said 'hi' to each other, very casually yet a bit tensed. As usual, we dressed up in our jogging outfits. I tried to avoid her direction, but I could sense that she was her usual - walking around the room uninhibited in her panties and bra as she put on her shirt, sweat pants and shoes.
I was again starting to get horny with just the thought of her body and what happened last night. But the same thought distracted me, basically because she might start distancing herself if I try to do something similar this time again. And I didn't want that to happened.
We walked a bit around the subdivision, then started jogging, then running... We did the usual things. But we were unusually quiet with each other. Soon it was time to go back home.
I didn't go in to the room with her. I excused myself in not joining her as usual. I stayed at the family room for about 10 loooooong minutes, just allowing her to have enough time to take her usual shower and dress up, before I would take mine. While we have other bathrooms in the house, and no one was home anyway, still I preferred to use the bathroom in my room.
After 10 minutes or so, I went in to the room and found her not still done with the shower. She was still in her outfit. Not a single item was removed, just like me. She looked a bit onerous, and seating at the edge of the bed.
She looked at me when I came in-a very tentative smile was on her face. Perhaps, it was exactly the way I looked. Our eyes met. She started to talk: 'Umm... Trixel, is there something wrong?' I responded: 'Nothing, Auntie. Why?'
She motioned to me to take the chair and bring it fronting her in the bed, then she continued talking: 'Trixel, we need to talk. I don't feel comfortable with your silence. You have been so quiet. I started to feel pity on myself, that I allowed things to happened between us. I know that you are now despising me for being so weak and allowing things to happen between us. I know that you think I don't deserve to be your Aunt..' When she was talking, I was already seated in front of her in a chair. We were looking in each other's eyes. Then, suddenly, tears started to flow from her eyes to her cheeks.
She continued to talk in between sob: 'I... I hate myself ... now, Trixel. You despise me... You are aloof now... I cannot blame you for that, Trixel...'
My heart pounded a lot then. Her message to me was not anticipated. I was not expecting her self-pity reaction. I was anticipating that she would be the one distancing her self from me. But with her narrations, it seemed that I was even the one trying to distance myself. Even with my teenaged mind, I fully got the point and I empathized with her. I was one of the young student peer counselors in my school and we were trained to sympathize, empathize, listen and affirm others. And at this time, my senses as counselor were challenged.
So I moved my chair closer to the bed such that our knees were almost touching. And held her hand. She was looking at my eyes, as her tears continued to flow. I was able say: 'No, Auntie. I don't despise you. It was just that I feel very uncomfortable being comfortable with you because I don't know how you are doing now. I admit I got so ashamed of taking advantage of you. I feel so weak. I feel so vulnerable. I feel so ...nothing. And I don't want to distance your self from me, Auntie. But I don't know how to tell you this... And that is why I was so disturb even a while yet.'
She was looking at my face and kept squeezing my hand while I was talking. I was a bit nervous. It was very difficult to speak, much more to tell at her face that I don't want her to distance herself and I don't know how to tell her this! I was 10 years her junior and it only took a lot of guts to level off with her.
Suddenly, with the words I uttered, her face shone up. She sobbed a bit, but starting to smile. While still holding my hand, she wiped with the back of her palm the tears on her cheeks. Then I continued to talk: 'Am very sorry Auntie if I let you feel that way.'
She replied: 'I am glad we were able to talk about this thing. I was a bit bothered when we were out walking. I could sense your discomfort.'
With that, I stood a bit, shifted my position and moved to sit beside her. I patted her back saying: 'Auntie, please don't get angry with me'. She smiled and looked back at me. Then, I put my right arm (I was seated at her left side) around her shoulders. And she shoved herself close to me. I gave her a good hug.
I felt that her shirt was so wet, just like mine, as we continued to sweat. We don't normally turn on the fan until we are done with the shower. So I rubbed her back and reached for the end of her shirt and tried to pull it off. I said: 'Let's take your shirt off, Auntie. It's wet.' She loosened herself and gave way for the shirt.
I bended down to her feet to remove her shoes and socks. Then I tried to pull down her sweat pants. She thrusted her hips a bit to give way for the pants to roll off. She was now totally in her panties and bra. She reached for my shirt and commented: 'Your shirt is wet too, remove it.' So I removed my shirt, shoes, socks and sweat pants. I was only in brief.
Without looking at my face, she pushed herself against me while we were seated next to each other. Her face a bit bowed down. Perhaps still ashamed, just like me. But I continued to rub her back and put my right arm around her shoulders. I could feel the warmth of her body; it was actually heat. We were again quiet. So I broke the silence by simply whispering to her ear: 'I love you, Auntie.' With that, she tuned her head up to me and asked: 'What do you mean you love me, Trixel?' And I replied: 'I love you, Auntie, I don't want you to go away from me. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.'
Still looking at my face, she smiled. She moved her face closer to me and planted a kiss at my lips. And staring at my eyes, she uttered: 'I love you too, Trixel.' We smiled with each other.
She was thankful that we were able to talk things out. And we sat there in bed side by side, she said: 'I just want to clarify Trixel that there are things that we can free do. And there are things that we cannot do. Or should not do. You know me, I'm very uninhibited person. But I know my limits. I know the boundaries. And I know that you understand what I mean.' And I replied: 'yes, Auntie!'
I stood up facing her. And motioned that we should take the shower now so we could relax. She stood up, and smiled at me. She unhooked her bra and pulled her panties in my full view. She became more uninhibited now. And it was to my own advantage. I removed my briefs, also in front of her. And I was enjoying it. I was not anymore trembling. I was not anymore nervous. I was not anymore conscious.
That openness between my Aunt and me paved the way for me to learn a lot of things about my sexuality and preferences. Hang on.