It all happened a long time ago. I was about 16 at the time and had had several masturbatory experiences with other boys. I had never had any contact with a girl - although this did not stop me from claiming fictitious experiences.
He was about three years older than me and in the sixth form. He was shorter than me with a coarse, dark complexion but was confident and clever. In a while he would be off to London University to study mathematics. He appeared to be an only child living with an elderly mother. I never enquired into his circumstances. He may have been adopted.
We were at his house one day, his mother was at work. 'Shall we toss each other off?' he said quite suddenly.
We went into the toilet. My erection was already pronounced and I started to open my fly to release it. With an air of satisfaction I announced that I had six inches. I then looked down and watched him extract the largest penis I had ever seen. My erection evaporated and nothing I could do would revive it. I apologised and continued to stimulate him. My hand barely encompassed his penis but I quickly brought him to climax. We then went back into the house and resumed our previous activity.
I went home but my mind was obsessed with my experience. I looked at objects like milk bottles and compared them to the memory of his erection. In my imagination it became bigger and bigger.
We were together again a couple of weeks later and again he suggested that we masturbate. Again I could not raise mine, but took the trouble to examine his carefully. It was nowhere near as large as the monster that had grown in my imagination, but was still close to eight inches long and about half an inch thicker than mine.
Looking back, I was rather uncertain of masculinity. I was heterosexual, there was no doubt of that, my homosexual adventures arose from a lack of opportunity and courage. However, I had a view of what masculinity involved and he totally outclassed me. I had a relatively hairless body: none on my arms or legs or in my armpits, a few wisps on my chest and rather skimpy pubic hair - he had masses of thick, coarse body hair. I was circumcised - he had a long, fleshy foreskin. I had a penis which was adequate, normal, standard - he had one which set him apart. I felt diminished. I was jealous.