A journey along the way.
I went to mass every Sunday. I attended prayer groups and bible readings, but they made me feel bad. Mainly because, however 'good' I wanted to be, my body had other ideas. I had resisted masturbation...oh...HOW I had resisted the temptation, until I was 17. But I knew that my body wanted, no, craved attention. I would get undressed ready for bed at night and sometimes even taking off my bra aroused me. Images would pop into my mind like I was doing a strip-tease, or that I was preparing to go to bed to be fucked. By the time I got to taking my panties off, they were wet. Yes, I mean wet, not just moist. Then, in bed I would feel my clit start to throb and throb. Most nights I ignored it and eventually went to sleep.
I have a really close friend to whom I would confess my night time desires. She was far more bold than I was and told me straight. 'Girl, you need a good wank.' I had heard stories about girls masturbating and losing control and wetting themselves and I found that utterly repelent. My friend said 'Sure, that can happen, but not to everyone and damn, Emily, you need it.' and then she added 'I can smell your cunt from here.' That I 'smelled' was bad enough, but the jolt of the 'C' word went straight to my clit, and I clamped my knees hard together. She said 'Look, there's only you and me. Go for it. See what happens.' So, I let my hand go up under my skirt and into my panties. I spread my legs and just, well, did it. It felt like a rush of wind starting deep within me and spreading out into the most delicious warm feeling. My first orgasm was beautiful. When I opened my eyes, my friend was well on the way to one of her own.
Did we fool around? Oh yes. In the following months we jilled each other and more besides. But my first time with a boy. Well, that was a real surprise. I walked in on my brother in full wank. He froze like a frightened rabbit in the headlights. I saw his hard-on and his pre-cum. I don't know why, but I just reached for it and finished him off. At least I got to see what happens when a boy spurts. No, he didn't touch me, nor did I want him to, but yes, he has asked for a repeat. I am not going to do it though. This was strictly a one time deal.
So, for me, I was a late starter. I was 23 before I lost my virginity but as soon as I did, I found myself really adventurous with sex. I am definitely bi-sexual, but it seems to go in blocks. I will want another girl for around six months or so, followed by really rough sex with a man. Then I will just want masturbation only.
I am not ready to settle down yet, whatever that means, but I plan to explore my sexuality a lot before I even think of marriage.