Ever masturbate to a live audience? Here's one way it can happen, funnily enough! Comments always welcomed.
Over the last 50-plus years, I've had the pleasure of masturbating in some pretty strange and wonderful places. Sometimes both at once! What happened one day would have to rank as the funniest experience I ever had - and even a bit scary for a second!
My wife and I had a cottage on Priest Lake, Idaho and, one day while at the lake alone I decided to take my office paperwork with me on a trip 'up' the lake and find a secluded spot along the shore where I could park the boat. I found such a spot about 18 miles distant and on the opposite side of the lake from our place. And, I was lucky to immediately come across a tiny clearing just up from the shore, of perhaps no more than 12 x 12 feet, where it looked as if someone might have pitched a tent not long ago. Not far up from the clearing I could also see signs of a lakeshore hiking trail. I retrieved my paperwork, a chaise lounge, and the cooler I had packed with lunch and a few beers, and proceeded to lay these out in the middle of my 'clearing.' Although I brought a beach towel with me I hadn't brought along my swim trunks, since it was my habit to swim in the buff whenever I could. I then stripped down to nothing and settled onto the chaise lounge chair, spread the towel over my midsection-not knowing if a few hikers might stray off the path and come down to visit me-and got out my paperwork to do some reading and note-taking.
Fortunately I remembered to take my trusty lubricant along since, in less than a half hour, I started feeling aroused and decided it was time to set my paperwork aside for a short while. I applied the lubricant to the appropriate places and, after a half hour of slow stroking, I finally gave in to the urge and ejaculated. What a feeling-here I was, looking out over an unforgettable lake view, alone in the seclusion of the woods, and able to feel the freedom of nature. The psychology of it, I think, made the pleasure of climax all the more intense.
I resumed my reading and note-taking, looking up now and then through the trees, listening to the breeze and the great variety of bird calls, and watching the occasional trout rise out in the cove. An hour or so passed and, without any conscious thought I can recall, dicky boy started up again, and regardless of my attention to the paperwork my erection was definitely persistent. Well, okay, I have the time of day, I figured, so why waste the moment on just more paperwork? After spreading a little more lubricant around I settled back in the chaise and dreamily started in.
Another 10 minutes went by and I was feeling pretty good. Had I known, though, that one of the most startling and funny surprises of my life was about to occur, I wouldn't have been feeling so soporific!
As my head was tilted back and my eyes closed, I thought I heard a twig snap fairly close by. Couldn't be a squirrel, or chipmunk...they were all around this area of the woods but not generally snapping twigs. I sat up a little, turned my head, and suddenly saw 10 pairs of eyes looking down at me from about six feet away. Well, I don't know who was more startled, the five white-tailed deer or I. I must have jumped and at the same time the doe closest to me sprang up on all fours. She and her companions turned tail and in lightning speed bounded up the path and out of sight. It was all over in no more than four seconds. My heart had to be racing momentarily, and naturally my penis went soft about as fast as I could say 'jackass.' I couldn't help but laugh out loud. Then, taking a more studied look at my surroundings I saw quite clearly that the precise spot I had set down the chaise lounge, about 15 feet up from the water's edge, was dead center in the game path that led to the water and back up the hillside behind me. I'm afraid I inadvertently interrupted their daily trek down to the lake for a cool drink. As for the curious deer, given how quiet I had been up to the time I turned my head, they perhaps thought I was some fixture planted in their path that-unless they sensed otherwise-they might side-step and continue down to the water. I'm not sure what deer think, but if they do have thoughts, they may also have been curious about what this 'human' was doing, slowly stroking this shaft poking up from his midsection!
I had a couple more solo sessions that day, each with a climax, but I must confess that I exercised a tad more caution in occasionally looking around while in the act. After all, lightning has been known to strike twice in the same spot, however rarely!