When I was around eight years old, I had an older cousin that use to stay the night with me. He was about, I would guess, 14 at the time. Him and me were in my room talking while my mom was in the kitchen. I can't remember what all happened but we ended up wrestling a little bit and afterwards, I was laying on top of him as we talked, belly to belly on the bed. After a while, he put his hand inside his jeans and asked me if I wanted to 'touch it'. Being the shy kid I was, I smiled and said no. He smiled back and asked if I was sure, saying it was okay and that he wouldn't tell anyone. Not knowing a lot about the opposite sex and knowing that 'down there' was naughty, I was curious but my shyness kept me from doing everything. Eventually he gave up and went home. We haven't really spoken since then.
From this point on, I remember doing several little things involving me and 'down there'. I remember lying in bed at night and imagining two guys, wearing nothing but underwear, standing in the middle of nowhere. One would put all kinds of things in the other ones underwear. I remember imagining him pulling the underwear away and putting a screwdriver, one of those vibrating balls with the little knobs on them, and just all kinds of things. I knew that whatever he put in there was touching his privates. I liked the thought that I could picture these things and no one would ever know what I was thinking.
I remember watching 'Silence of the Lambs' one time and seeing the part where the killer opens his robe, revealing his nude body. That was the first time I had ever seen a male naked, even if I couldn't see anything because of the pubic hair. I even remember touching the screen on his private parts and licking my finger before my mother called me for supper.
This would bring on curiosities about me and own privates. I did the typical childish things with my Barbies as the next girl, stripping them and rubbing them together. My first remembrance of me actually feeling some pleasure was when I was getting ready to go to school and I was brushing my teeth. I washed out my mouth and some water dribbled down my chin and belly into my pants. I found that to be a little exciting so I tried it again. The water traveled down the same trail into my pants, this time going a little farther. After a few minutes of doing this, my shirt and the front of my pants were soaked with water. Later that night, I had an idea of what I could do with water that would keep my clothes dry. I went into the bathroom and filled up a little key-chain water gun (one of my bath toys) with water. With the help of a mirror, I squirted the water into my vagina (the only hole I could see, the clitoris didn't mean a thing to me at that time). I didn't really feel anything and got bored and retreated to my room.
I did a lot of things with water after that. When I would drain the water after bath time, I would sit in it and feel the water drain past my vagina. Then I remembered putting snow in my pants and rubbing it around...
When I was 11, I went to an outdoor birthday party. There was a little six year-old boy there and he said he really had to go to the bathroom. Being the only one free of anything at that time, I was told to take him in the house so he could go. We were the only ones in the house so I thought I would watch him go, seeing it as a chance to finally see what the opposite sex looked like. He wasn't old enough to stand to pee, so he sat on the toilet to go. Even without doing a 'number two' he asked me to wipe him. I eagerly agreed, wiping off his little 'peepee' as I called it. He pulled up his pants and we returned outside.
I do not remember how my first masturbation experience came, but it involved my mother's silk robe. Again, I was around 11. I would lay on my side in bed under the covers and use the robe to pull hard between my legs, pulling it back and forth and rubbing in the opposite direction, grinding hard. Eventually I would get this incredibly pleasurable build up followed by an intense sensation that seemed to explode in my pelvic region then this pulsating throb that would follow. Needless to say if felt great and I wanted to try it again. I would hide my mothers robe under my pillow, never thinking she would miss it, and wait for every possible chance I got to repeat it. Most of the time I didn't have an orgasm because even though it felt good, I would get bored with it and stop. I do remember getting caught doing this. My mom walked in as I was lightly bouncing under the covers, grinding against her robe. She asked what was wrong and all I could do was shake my head quickly, trying to act normal. Naturally, being summer out, she was confused as to why I was under the covers and approached the bed and pulled off the covers, horrified to find her robe between my legs. She pulled it out angrily, yelling what was I doing. All I could do was lay there terrified. She yelled that we were going to 'have a talk about this' as she stormed out the door. Needless to say, we never had that talk but it did keep me from masturbating for about three years.
Sooner or later things cooled down and not a word was ever mentioned about what had happened. I'm hoping she never told anyone and they happen to come across this site and read this.. But after a while, when I was 14, I was watching TV late at night and came across a porno on a free weekend movie channel. I had seen pornos before and even a few 'Real Sex' specials on HBO so it was no surprise to me but it did bring back the old feelings I had between my legs. I decided that since I didn't get in trouble before, that I could try it again. This time, I used a thick sock outside my underwear to grind against. I kept going, even though my fingers were soar from holding onto the sock, I kept going. Eventually, the familiar build up hit me. In the wake of my release, this incredibly indescribable guilt washed over me. Again, this kept me from masturbation for a while.
I just recently overcame this guilt and now enjoy masturbation a few times a week. Thanks to research and the Internet, I know basically everything I need to know about my body. I have tried everything from the water faucet technique to inserting various things in me, even retreated back to my classic 'grind'. This next story happened a few months ago and will forever be in my memory.
I went to stay the night with some younger cousins and we all were just lying around watching TV with my Aunt. Let me just say that they're all like siblings to me. Me and my younger cousin (call him Sam) were laying on the couch in our PJ's. I was at one end and he was at the other. He was 12 at the time. The couch was small so our legs were kind of entangled beneath the blanket. I said something to him and lightly kicked at him to get his attention, inadvertently brushing against his privates. I was surprised that he didn't say anything about it as he is always joking about things like that, so I thought I might have a little fun. I said something else, and kicked at him again in the same way, again he said nothing. I took this time to lightly rest my foot on his upper thigh and slowly kneed it, waiting to see what he would say. After a few more light touches and kneads, he slowly touched my socked foot with his hand. I felt my heart race as I slowly inched up his leg, his mother sitting not two feet from me. He again touched my foot, this time, bringing it closer to him until I was touching his penis, which had become quite hard by now. I started talking to my aunt, just a casual conversation, as I rubbed his tiny penis with my foot. After a few minutes, I noticed that Sam was touching my leg, squeezing it. I took this as a signal and adjusted slightly so that we were side by side. He immediately adjusted so I was within reach to him. I slowly inched my hand up his leg. Just a note: Sam is quite muscular for his age as he plays every sport. I finally reached his penis, the first I had ever touched. I had read about how hard they got but was surprised at how hard it actually was. Still talking to my Aunt, and Sam still watching TV, I began to slowly pump him, gripping, what felt like three inches, in my hand and pulling and squeezing. I felt the precum and rubbed it under his head, taking time to lightly stoke his scrotum. After a few minutes, I felt him jerk his release. I continued to lightly pump him until his jerks became too apparent. I removed my hand and he got up to clean himself. We never made eye contact. I thought that was it but...
Later on that night, Sam and I were the only ones up. This time we were on opposite couches. He asked if I wanted to go over with him to be under the blanket. Immediately, I knew what he wanted. I went over and laid down next to him. We repeated what we did before until he moved so he was lying next to me, face to face. He stayed completely under the blanket and started to fondle my breast with his hands as I slowly started to stroke him. He started to lick my nipples. I'm not sure if he had any experience, but it appeared as if he knew what he was doing. He tried to reach down in my pants, but I stopped him, afraid even though I was very hot. I was pumping him right next to my clit and the slight brush of my hand made me have an orgasm. After a few minutes, he made me stop pumping him. He didn't argue with me so I didn't with him. Eventually, he positioned himself under me, reaching his hands behind me and squeezing my butt. I let him hump my thigh for a few minutes. He suddenly froze, tensing up, and then relaxing completely with a sigh. I went to the other side of the couch and he got up to clean himself. Never making eye contact.
We had a couple other encounters like that but with him just touching me outside my pants. A few days later, we were alone in my room on my bed. He laid next to me and rested his head on my belly. A signal. Eventually he got closer and closer to my waist and reached down in my pants, this time I didn't say anything but I did stop him from fondling my breast. He undid the button of my jeans to give him better access. He lifted my underwear and looked inside. He felt around my mound until my mom called him to go. I masturbated to the thought of it that night, as I'm sure he did too.
He asked his mom if he could spend the night with me. Later that night, when everyone was in bed, I was on the computer and he sat down next me on the floor. After a few moments, he laid on his back and scooted under the desk, saying something about the carpet. I was sitting Indian Style in the chair and he reached into the bottom of my jeans and started rubbing my leg. I uncrossed my legs and he sat between them. He started rubbing my belly; his touch was making me shake a little because I was not use to it (I had yet to have a boyfriend and was still a virgin). He undid my pants and reached into my underwear and felt around but our positions made it nearly impossible. I was still chatting away on the computer as he tried to pull my pants down. I raised my hips and they came down a few inches. He felt around inside, not hitting my clit and it was driving me insane. He rubbed all around my vagina walls, even over them, but never inserting his fingers as I was hoping he might. I could tell he was jacking himself off as he was only using one hand. After a few minutes, he stopped and started to climb over me. I freaked, not wanting to do 'it' with family, and made him stopped. He crawled under the desk and went to clean himself up.
That was the last encounter we had but I'm hoping we might do it again. Of course, not going all the way to intercourse. My only concern is he might tell, and me being a legal adult, I could get into some serious trouble. I never forced him to do anything and he made all the moves. We have had other small encounters in the past with me seeing his tiny pecker (me doing a demonstration of the male body for 'school' and him sticking a small stick into his urethra) I would like to think that I got him into masturbation because ever since that night on the couch, he has become quite obvious when he does it. I might say something to him again, or do another signal.
I'm sorry this has been so long. I hope it has been worth the read. I have been wanting to to this since it first happened and I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry if there has been any typos.