Dear Solo:

I think we really need to do away with the hypocrisy involving masturbation in our society. Too many people are condemned for their masturbation habits (I am certainly one!) and they are made to feel incredibly guilty as if they had committed a crime.

I remember what happened to me several years ago. My roommate caught me masturbating when I was a Freshman living in a college dorm. He must have told everyone on my hall about it, because by the end of the school year all of my hallmates were laughing at me. I ended up transferring to another school the following year. Whenever I came back to visit my few friends at my old school, I really felt that some of my other classmates were "judging me" or "snubbing me". The looks that some of my old classmates gave me were very upsetting. Even though masturbation was something that most college students did at sometime in their dormatories, I was being ostracized by them simply because I had been "caught".

Later on in my life, it always bothered me that when the subject of masturbation came up, that people acted so uptight about it. My masturbation fantasies range from older middle aged women to young teenage girls. They also include girls that I grew up with in my neighborhood and in high school. There are even some distant cousins of mine that I masturbate to.

I feel that society frowns on these kinds of fantasies or at times they frown on any kind of fantasies at all. The worst thing is that they make people feel guilty about them to the point that they would even consider suicide. This, I feel is a serious problem in society. I say this, because I feel that I am a victim of it.

People very rarely say to me directly that masturbation is wrong, but the attitudes make me feel like I am doing something terribly wrong. Some of it may be a misinterpretation on my part, but I think that society needs to send a message to it's members that masturbation is "okay" and that people have "all kinds" of fantasies.

I always thought that if society is totally accepting of people having sex, why should they have any problem with people masturbating. It's incredibly naive in this day and age to think that only "some" people masturbate or that it is "unnatural".

What makes me mad is that people can make you feel awfully guilty for doing something that is totally healthy and necessary. The ironic thing is that if I were unable to masturbate (which would be less than 1 percent of the male population), I probably would have had fewer problems in getting along with other people. Most of my serious problems began as a result of my roommate "catching me". I was incredibly miserable from that time up until now.

I don't see why people make such a big deal out of masturbation in the first place. A little good natured ribbing is one thing, but making someone feel guilty to the point of considering suicide is quite another.

The reason this happens is that society condemns masturbation. People don't often come out and say masturbation is wrong, but society makes people feel awfully ashamed about it.

Why not have masturbation counselors who advertise their services in the newspaper on TV and on the radio. They should have books on masturbation that parents can read with their children. Probably, by the time a kid turns ten, their parents should be reading a book on masturbation with them. This would in turn create a society of more educated and capable adults for the future.

There should be masturbation textbooks or guides for adults to read for any kind of problem they have involving masturbation. This might sound funny, but masturbation is just as much a part of a person's sex life as is sexual intercourse.

If society viewed masturbation in the same light that they did sexual intercourse, then they would not be kicking themselves in the groin. I'm sure that there would be fewer crimes (especially rapes) and that people would have healthier lives (physically and mentally).

Homer