Hello everyone,

It's great to see this web site back up and running—thank you, thank you, thank you.

Our world needs a forum for one of the hottest, most necessary and most honest subjects life has to offer. Over the years I've held back from writing, mainly because I have expressed my views and experiences of masturbation in many other forums. But to make a long story short, I am an advocate and facilitator of masturbating together, that is, of mature, sexually experienced adults allowing one another to see, hear and emotionally sense one another's masturbation as a staple of the erotic diet, and as a form of high ritual.

I recognize that at this point in my life, I can barely feel the raw, strange urgency that can arise with considering this concept for the first time: the first thoughts of considering the reality of openly displaying your masturbation, and of openly expressing your curiosity about the masturbation of others, both same sex, and opposite. Reading these stories, we see this happen naturally to people of all ages, yet younger people are a lot more free than anyone—probably because they are at a point of their most unfettered exploration of their sexuality, their hormones are running hot, and all the rules and values of our twisted society have not fully gotten a grip on their thoughts and emotions. For anyone else who has not explored this, I offer the possibility that masturbating in front of your lover, a close friend or several friends will be one of the most liberating experiences of your life, sexually, emotionally and intellectually.

There are exquisite emotional, sensual and simply human spaces to explore in this region of life.

I propose, as a student of human nature, that at this time in history we need this experience perhaps more than any other on the erotic menu. We need to be released from any and all of the misgivings, fear, shame and guilt that we may feel about our self-given erotic pleasure so that we can go deeply into any or all of our pleasure, and finally recognize our own erotic beauty . Sharing masturbation in my experience is the most direct way to do this. We can free ourselves of sex as a burden, as a carrier of heavy expectation, and of only being a space where we must lose ourselves in another person. We can actually be ourselves with other people, and become ourselves, too, right before them, and feeling their loving grace.

We live in a very uptight culture, which wraps so much fear around sexual feelings that we barely can feel one without the other. Pleasure, the natural kind, is considered suspect, and erotic energy is mainly viewed as a means of intertwining ourselves in the lives of other people, often as a kind of commodity or bargain-clincher. Meanwhile, we grow narrower and narrower, looking for the door within ourselves to a sense of freedom and curiosity that was once so natural, yet rarely finding it within our structured relationships. There are many fetters. We hold the key to most of them, if we dare to use it.

Women may be afraid to express their shameless sexual need fearing they'll be perceived (or worse) perceive themselves as whores, or because they have a lurking sense that they'll lose that precious self-control that keeps them 'good'. Yet at the same time the whore aspect of almost all woman is extremely strong in their psyches and begging for expression, and true acceptance. In masturbation, women can allow their fantasies to run wild and be the free people they would not dare to be when others are aware of them. In displaying their masturbation, and in the open sharing of their fantasies in free-association, it's finally possible to feel vindicated, cleansed and free—to feel released from something we did not know we were even trapped within.

There are other issues for men. One is that masturbation is commonly viewed as a substitute for sex, which means as a sign that one is not truly a man, if being a man means having a woman. But I think a deeper situation with male masturbation is how shallow it can feel compared to the experience of another person's presence, most often woman, there to resonate with us emotionally and facilitate the full expression of our pleasure. For a man to be seen masturbating is to expose the youngest inner attribute of his sexuality, which is often laced with embarrassment, conscious or unconscious. And the sudden shift of erotic energy that happens after ejaculation can be difficult, lonely or shameful to face alone, often not fulfilling.

We can get past all of this. None of it is necessary. We can learn to be free, whole and kind to ourselves, and best of all we can help one another get there.

Both men and women, as far as I can tell, need validation, approval, encouragement and a space to explore ourselves. We need permission to be in our pleasure and have that carry no additional burden or responsibility beyond simple respect and kindness. To do this for one another is a true act of love, selfless love and selflove. I know that many of us are seeking true expression of our passion, love and beauty, to be received by others and to feel others for who we are. And I know that we can get there, because we're on a mission of light.

Peace & passion,

Eric Francis
Seattle