Getting Out of a Rut

I am 26 and single. I have not had a man inside me for almost two years. I broke up with my BF after a long relationship and was hurt, upset and generally pissed off at the world for some time.

I realize I was truly depressed. Since learning what my clit was for when I was 11 and getting sexually active in my late teens, I have rarely gone more than a day or two without cumming.

One day, shortly before my period, I was taking stock of my tampon supply and looked at the condoms, lube and my dildo in the back of the drawer.

It was a shock that I realized on day that I had not masturbated in at least a month, if not more. This was a bit of a wake up call and I knew I needed to get out of my rut.

That night I made a point of getting the dildo out, lubing it up and sliding it inside me. It felt pleasant and familiar but I did not really try to cum. I fell asleep with it inside me.

Over the next few weeks I got back into the routine of 'finding time to myself'. It was hard to not think about the past as I tried to masturbate.

On the whole it was not so good.

Last week I went on a business trip. The hotel was directly across the street from a strip mall that contained a nice Indian restaurant. Beside the restaurant there was an adult video and sex shop. After having dinner with some others, we walked past the sex shop and I felt a stirring in my crotch. My hornyness had returned.

On a whim the next evening, I walked over to the restaurant and ordered some take-out. While the food was being prepared, I ducked next door.

A very friendly, heavily tattooed gay man helped me select a new penis shaped vibrating dildo. I wanted to buy the slim/small one but he convinced me the larger one was the right choice. I also bought a large bottle of a gel-lube I had never tried before.

The old man at the restaurant gave my black plastic bag a funny look as he handed over the curry and I went back to my room.

I opened the dildo box while eating and just sat there looking at it. It looked much larger and more frightening than in the store. I held it in my hand and it seemed much thicker than any penis I have ever taken into my vagina.

I showered and shaved my vulva smooth, turned off the lights and got into bed.

At first I lay and touched myself, my breasts, my nipples and my mound before lubing my fingers and opening myself up.

I pressed the tip of the dildo against my vagina and pushed gently. I could just get the head in before the resistance became painful. I re-lubed and tried again, getting a little deeper. Using the head, with the vibe on, I pressed it hard against my clit and quickly came.

Now that I was relaxed, I pushed it inside me. It was painful for a moment before my body accepted it.

With it inside my vagina, I slowly pressed and pulled it taking slightly longer strokes each time, each stroke easier and deeper than the last as my vagina relaxed, opened and got wetter.

After a pair of strong orgasms, I took a break and turned on the TV but soon grew bored and went back to the dildo.

I put a towel over a square footstool with another pillow on top. This made a nice platform to ride. Sitting on the corner I pressed down on the dildo as hard as I could. The angle was perfect and the curve on the dildo was right on my g spot. I spent a hour or so just sitting there, watching myself in the mirror.

The next morning I was very sore. I am now out of my 'rut' and am thinking of dating again.