My Personal Desire

As a divorced 42-year-old woman I have come to grips with my sexual desires. Finally. When I was divorced at 37, I went on a sex binge. I can't remember the number of men that I went home with after a night of partying in a club somewhere. Some were great, some were good, and many weren't worth the effort. I had fun, but in so many ways I felt terrible about myself.

I now am a little different. I masturbate frequently because I gave up the going all the way running around that I was doing when I was newly divorced. I guess you could say I got that out of my system. When I masturbate now, I frequently fantasize about a man watching me masturbate as he masturbates at the same time. I have always been fascinated with the male penis in its hard state. My x-husbands was rather small at about 4-1/2' when it was hard. I saw plenty of big ones when I was running around though and they really intrigue me.

So now when I go out and I meet a man who I am attracted to, and the evening goes alright, my thoughts are on masturbation instead of regular intercourse. I want to see them go hard and I want to see them stroke off to me as they look at my body. I like the larger ones from at least 6 inches and up. I have laid naked on the bed exposing every part of my body for at least a dozen men in the last year who have jacked off for me. I love them now to come ON ME and not IN ME. When I'm not seeing the real thing in front of me, I happily masturbate myself to sleep as I think about some of the exceptional big dicks I've seen come on me.

Some women may still think I'm a slut and a whore, but what I prefer to do now is safer and to me, just as much fun as having real sex.