To print this page, use your browser's "print" button. Then click back to return to the site.



logo



Life-long Passion

I began masturbating innocently just a few weeks after I was out of diapers. I happened to be rolling around on the floor, when all of a sudden I felt something kind of a ticklish or tingly feeling underneath my stomach. I continued to roll around on the floor and found that this feeling was more or less concentrated in that area whenever it would rub against the floor. I decided to try to produce that feeling again, more efficiently and easily.

I lay on my stomach with my legs, my waist and the lower part of my stomach on the floor, the rest of my body was leaning upwards with my elbows and arms also on the floor supporting my position. I used my arms to slide the middle part of my body along the floor, up and down. This produced quite the sensation, and it wasn't long before I did this all the time, on the floor, or on a bed, or on a couch but the floor was quieter and more comfortable.

At this age, I was probably only two or three, and my parents ignored it. But my arms got sore doing this all the time from supporting my body. I had to think of another way to do this. I learned to elevate my waist just a bit, by putting either a pillow or a stuffed animal between my legs. This allowed me to continue to slide on the floor without needing my arms to support my body, and I could lie flat on my stomach. And the feeling was even stronger than before.

I kept doing this a lot, almost whenever I was lying down, and whenever it was convenient to lie on the floor. I would watch television, or whatever, and do this, I didn't care who was around. When I was around four though, my parents started giving me a hard time about this. At first they told me to only do it in my room, and if they caught me doing this they would send me to my room. They called this action I was doing, which at that time I did not understand anything about, 'doing Jessica's thing'.

'If you want to do your thing right now, you have to go to your room.' 'wait till you get home and can go to your room to do your thing.' Or, 'The supper table is set, where's Jessica. Ohhhhh she's in her room doing her thing, she'll come out in a minute' are things I heard my family saying a lot.

When I became obsessed and preferred to spend most of my time in my room doing this and occupying all my time, they got more concerned. While they were happy I wasn't doing this in front of people anymore, they were worried that I was obsessed with it, which I really was. They began taking the things I masturbated with away, such as all my pillows, and stuffed animals. Eventually I had one pillow left, and they would say, 'if you are doing your thing with it, we will also take this one away.' I screamed each time they took something of mine away, but that didn't stop them.

Well, I needed my pillow for sleeping, and I also wanted all my stuffed animals back, so I had to think of something that would work. Then it dawned on me, 'if you use your pillows to elevate your waist, why not elevate it yourself with your hands?' And that is what I did, and I discovered not to just place my hands between my legs and slide my vulva over them, but to rub my vulva with my hands at same time. Wow, the rush and feelings I got, wow they were even stronger now with this newly modified method.

But it got me hooked, and now since my parents are not going to cut my hands off, there was nothing they could do, I began masturbating on the floor with my hands a lot and I didn't have to be in my room alone anymore. I was really happy, while they were even more worried.

I was five years old, time to start kindergarten. There was no way my parents were gonna send me to school if I was rubbing myself inappropriately all day. They decided to keep me back a year, and see if I would stop, hoping to send me the next year.

They started sending me to the doctor about this thing I was always doing. (Obviously my parents talked with him first so that he'd use the same words they use, 'thing',) He asked me all these difficult questions all the time, 'When you do your thing, what exactly does it feel like?' 'Do you ever feel like you are finished doing your thing?' 'What does it feel like when you have to do it again?' And they tried to figure out exactly what causes me to do this so much during that year.

Well I got tired of seeing the doctor all the time, and I knew it had something to do with this thing I was always doing. I decided to make it more of a secret, do it only at night time or first thing in the morning, and only in my room. Only doing it during the day if I can sneek into my room without nobody knowing. I thought I wouldn't be able to bear not doing it so much. When I masturbated there was this fun tingly feeling that felt so good when I rubbed myself. When I wasn't rubbing myself there was also a tingly feeling too inside, I can't describe it, but it wasn't a fun pleasant tingly feeling, it was a different one that wouldn't go away unless I rubbed myself again.

However, I was able to masturbate less, and there was those times when it was hard, but I found that this unpleasant tingly feeling I was describing went away when I rubbed myself again, but it could also go away by simply thinking of other things, and concentrating on other things. Of course, soon as I was alone again, it would come back.

Well, I was masturbating in secret each evening, and morning and going to town with it too. And nobody was to ever know, if someone walked into my room, I would quickly jump off of my hands when I heard them coming and then stop and pretend to be asleep.

I got to go to school that next year. But halfway through the year, one day during naptime, which was a fifteen minute rest time they did every day, the temptation to masturbate was really strong. I tried to fight it but couldn't. I gently placed my hands underneath my legs and rubbed as quietly and slowly as I could hoping the teacher or other students wouldn't see what I was doing. But the teacher did, she said nothing, but called my parents and notified them of my behaviour. When I got home, my mom said, 'Jessica, your teacher called, and she said you were doing your thing during naptime in school.' I got beet red and felt embarrassed. I promised I would never do it again, and they finally stopped talking about it. Of course I kept doing it every day, just not in school, only when I was alone in my room.

I continued the habit each day as I grew up. When I got older I was curious as to what was actually between my legs that I enjoyed playing with. I decided to have a look when I was alone having a bath. I looked and I started touching for the first time, my vulva directly while naked. Up until this point I had only rubbed my vulva from outside my clothing. I learned how to finger myself and make pleasure that way, of course it was never the same strong feeling I got from rocking and rubbing on my stomach, but still pleasureable. I learned how to masturbate sitting down, standing up, or whatever position I could possibly be in.

When I was in grade seven, after years of enjoying this secret habit, I wanted to know what it was, if it had a name, if other people did it. But I didn't know how to find out, and I didn't want to ask. I just simply continued doing it. One day in school, I heard some girls in the washroom say the word masturbation and start laughing. I didn't know what the word meant. I decided to secretly go to the school library and find one of those encyclopedias and look it up. I was in grade eight now. Finding the word was hard as I couldn't spell it properly, but I found it, and found out that my secret habit, 'my thing', was masturbation.

Just knowing that made my urge to masturbate stronger. I think I did it about five times as soon as I got home that day.

A couple of years later because of the internet, I learned more about masturbation when nobody was home.

Looking back, I'm kind of glad I discovered it so early and so innocently that nobody had to teach it to me. And I got to enjoy it all my life so far, not just for part of my life like most other people. As far as the embarrassment I gave myself when I was little by masturbating in front of others, and in front of my family, I still hear about it from my older brothers and sisters, who remember all those times. I know I embarrassed not just myself, but my brothers, my sisters, and their friends who came over.

Today, at the age of nineteen, I masturbate usually in bed with the same rocking/sliding/rubbing technique that I learned as a child. Sometimes I masturbate in the shower, or bathtub using other methods, but the one that is most special to me each day is my main method.


Posted on: 2005-09-28 00:00:00 | Author: