Mom's Dildo

Since my mom died, I had been exploring the additional freedom that comes from having a single working parent. Not that Dad let me run wild. He called every day at 3:40pm to make sure I was home. When he got home at six, we ate in or ate out. You know, eating out a lot may seem fun, but after a while I just wanted to stay home. I even started learning how to cook so we could eat dinner at home sometimes.

I think I was eleven, sixth grade had just started. My hormones had switched on and, though I didn't realize it, they were making me restless. Instead of just doing homework and watching TV, I started exploring the house.

I didn't go to the places little kids usually go; places that let you hide and pretend. I went to places that let me have a view on the adult world I was approaching. All the boxes in the garage got opened and repacked. My dad's tool boxes were categorized by what I though the tools were for. Then I peeked into the master bedroom.

The master bedroom had always been a mysterious place. As a pre-schooler, I took naps with my mom there. But when dad was home, the master bedroom was a curious, forbidden place. A place that required a knock on the door and an answer before one was admitted, and then only just inside the door. Three times I peeked in and wondered. The fourth, I pushed the door open enough to see the room clearly. The fifth, I took three nervous steps inside, and dad opened the front door.

After a hasty exit, I sat in my room staring out the window as dad went into the kitchen to get a drink. I stared, worried that dad would notice the open door as he walked down the hall. I stared troubled as he went in his bedroom and closed the door. I stared hopefully as he changed his clothes. I glanced over my shoulder confidently as he came out.

'Hi, Janis,' he called cheerfully, 'how was school?' 'Fine, dad!' I tried not to let my relief show in my voice.

The next day, I knew I had to act. The mysteries were too inviting. I had to act early. The dangers were thrilling, but even more entertaining if I didn't get caught. But not too early. After I got home, I waited three interminable minutes for the call. Three minutes of prolonged anxiety. Three minutes of cruel and unusual punishment.

'Hi, Janis.' 'Hi, Dad.' 'Anything to report?' This was the question when he was in the middle of something important. 'No, Dad. Get back to your meeting.' 'Ok, sweetie.' As quick as a bank robber approaching a time-lock safe, I moved silently down the hall. As quiet as a burglar lifting a ring off of a sleeping finger, I opened the door. As shrewdly as a private detective, I surveyed the possibilities.

I decided on the dresser first; upper left drawer. I nearly cried when I saw mom's underwear and nylons. 'Crying over underwear!' I chided myself, and then started laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. I must have laughed for five minutes straight. I sniffed her black silk panties, then put them back.

There was something hard under the underwear. Pushing back the lingerie, I touched the object. It was long, thick, and purple, of solid but soft plastic. My face reddened as I realised what it looked like. With a guilty feeling, I grabbed it and ran for my room, hiding it under my pillow.

All day the dildo hung on my mind, focusing my attention. Dad and I usually had a good chat during dinner, but I could barely eat, much less chat. I excused myself, gave dad a kiss on the cheek and walked absent-mindedly to my bedroom. I lay in bed, hands under my head, a plan forming in my mind, butterflies from the wrong side of the tracks rioting in my stomach. Dad came in.

'Are you feeling alright, Janis?' he asked. 'Yeah. Just thinking.'
'Thinking about what?' 'Don't know. Just thinking.' He favored me with a wry grin. 'If you want to talk about it, I'll be in the living room.' 'Okay.'

Later I got up and had an actual conversation with dad. I had decided it would help him feel okay about me. My mind wasn't really in it though, and I don't know if I made much sense. 'Time for bed,' dad announced. Relieved, I headed to bed without the requisite whining. I had my nightgown on in a flash and was under the covers before Dad came in.

'Good night, Janis.' 'Good night, Dad.' We kissed and he left. Slowly I counted to six-hundred. I heard Dad get into bed. Just to be safe, I counted to a thousand. I smelled the plastic penis. The smell was an odd combination of vinyl and the way mom and dad used to smell on Saturday morning. I remembered the cartoons I watched, barely aware of the conversation and non-conversation in my parent's bedroom. Then Mom would come out and we'd talk for a few minutes. Then she headed off to the kitchen and Dad would come out and talk for a while. They always smelled the same on Saturday morning.

Wonderingly, I hitched up my nightgown. I had deliberately left my panties out of the picture. I touched the dildo to my slit. For some reason, my mind went to watching a boy in my school walk up the aisle to the front of class. Though I tried not to stare, my eyes were always drawn to his butt.

When I asked him about it, Dad had said, 'Sexual attraction,' with a big grin on his face. It didn't really mean anything to me. But, as I slowly rubbed the object over my crotch, I felt the warmth I had felt when this boy had walked by, only more so.

'Sex,' I thought, reflecting on the birds and the bees talk dad had given me, 'Sex.' I pulled my knees up and rubbed the dildo up and down my slit as I thought of him without clothes. 'Nice butt,' I thought, as I imagined his tight little boy butt standing by my bed. Then I turned him around in my mind. I imagined him with a penis as thick and hard as the one in my hand.

On an impulse I pulled the dildo up to my mouth and licked it. A thrill shot down my body. I sucked it, running my tongue up and down it like Amanda had described during recess last week.

'Let me put it in you,' I heard this boy say in my mind.

I put the dildo back between my legs and pushed gently. There was some resistance, so I pushed harder. With a slight pain, the dildo went in, and I was enthralled by the feeling. In and out I sent it. I pulled it out and rubbed the front of my crotch. My clitoris responded with a surge of feeling. Back and forth from my clitoris to my vagina, the dildo ran, until my head exploded in orgasm.

'Are you all right?' Dad called from his room. I must have made some noise. 'Yeah,' I called out as I hid the dildo away, 'I just need a drink of water.' 'You know where to find it.' It was a week later when dad caught me. I was naked, spread eagle on my bed, exploring my body with the dildo. I guess I lost track of time.

'Where did you get that?' he asked after I jumped out of bed, moist dildo still in hand. 'Mom's underwear drawer,' I stuttered. 'Just a minute,' he said and left. I quickly started to dress but only had my panties and training bra on when he got back. He was holding a package with a hot pink dildo in it.

'You should never use a sex toy someone else has used,' he stated matter of factly. He handed me the new dildo, and I handed him the old.

'Okay,' I croaked.

We talked about it when I was sixteen. Boy, did we laugh.