Sexual Awakenings

I find it's interesting to hear about people's sexual awakening during their adolecent years. What a confusing time, not only sexually, but in other areas as well. Our sexual awakening however seems to be an intense discovery period, filled with various emotions and physical feelings.

I had come about masturbation on my own, never having been told about it yet by the age of 12. It took me several attempts to reach orgasm, as when the feelings got too intense, I became scared and stopped what I was doing. For some reason, there was a guilt about what I was doing and a fear that I might be hurting myself. However, the pleasure was real and thus I had the desire to continue to explore it.

I have to admit I was kind of shocked when I did reach an orgasm and ejaculated for the first time. My semen wasn't very thick or white or of a large volume, and I thought I had screwed myself up somehow. I remember waiting to see if I was going to get sick or something, but I never did. I didn't masturbate too much after that first orgasm, mostly out of fear that I was doing something harmful.

About a year later, I was spending the night with a buddy and he wanted to show me something he had found in his brother's room. His brother, who was about 16 or 17, was out for the evening, so we went into his room and my buddy pulled out a book that was stashed away. I still remember the title, which was, 'The Pearl'. It was a book that was made up of various stories written by different authors from the late 1800s, all of which were about sexual exploits.

We read a few of the stories and I was completely shocked by what they did, having no idea of what people could experience with sexual pleasure. Needless to say, I became aroused as well. His brother came home, so we had to scramble to get the book back in its hiding place and get out of his room. I found myelf eagerly waiting for the next time we could get to the book.

The next time we were able to get to the book, we read more stories and again, I became aroused. One story which my buddy really liked was about a woman who was masturbating a guy, but she would tease him and tease him until he was begging her to make him cum. My buddy suggested we try this on each other. I was kind of embarassed to do this for him so he suggested he do it to me first. We both were in just our underwear and we both agreed to get undressed. I had never seen another guy's penis and we were both erect.

I lie on my back and he began to masturbate me, slowly, like the woman had done in the book. At first, I didn't feel any sexual pleasure; I just felt exposed and kind of weird. However, he was doing a good job and eventually I started getting aroused. I had to admit that it was feeling pretty good, so I began to relax a little more and the more I relaxed, the more excited I became.

It felt good in a weird way, to have someone else touch me in such a way and the thought increased my pleasure. When I got to a certain point of arousal, I began to breathe harder and squirm around more and he slowed down until I calmed down, and then he would increase his manipulations again. I can't remember how many times I got close to an orgasm, but it seemed each time the feelings were stronger than the last time.

I began to see why the guy finally couldn't take it anymore and begged the woman to make him cum. I wanted to do the same thing, but was kind of afraid to ejaculate in front of him for some reason. Eventually though, I was afraid I was going to let out a scream or something and have everyone downstairs hear me, so when I got close, I told him to make me cum. He obliged and I experienced an explosive orgasm the likes of which I hadn't experienced up to that time. I watched as I ejaculated, and for the first time my semen was thick and white and quite a bit of it, which surprised but yet pleased me.

After I had regained my composure, he lay down on his back and I masturbated him in the same manner. I actually enjoyed knowing when to tease him and getting him as close to an orgasm as I could without him going over the edge. I liked watching him reach orgasm and ejaculating as well.

We only did this a couple of times until we started dating girls and exploring our sexuality with them. At the time, I never thought of it as a homosexual thing and didn't really understand what it was anyway. I know that many people experimented with someone of the same sex during those years and if anything, the experience gave me insight into my maleness from a different angle, so to speak. Adolecence is a strange time and I think we do find out about our sexuality and our preferences then.